Kiera's Tyranny

We HIT in our family!

2008-03-17T14:50:00.000-07:00

That is what Kiera likes to say when well, she wants to hit someone. This is counter to what I say "We do not hit in our family!" or she likes to take the verse "be kind to one another" and say "be hitting one another!" when she is angry. She declares she hates me at least once a day, followed quickly by a declaration of love. If she is really angry, she will go down the whole list of people she hates, like daddy, mommy, Kalista and even Bentley. and then five seconds later she loves us all again. she is quite the child.
I have a lot of people say they really enjoy her. find her quite amusing, etc, etc. She never acts up in PS, and she LOVES to go. loves to bring her princess dresses and share them with the girl classmates.
Kalista is also getting to be quite the personality. especially when a camera comes out. I swear the child does not take a bad picture. she grins wildly and poses.

Doug is now gone and we've been keeping busy doing as much stuff as possible so I don't go mad. I still have to see the chiropractor twice a week and the massage therapist. what joy.

Kiera calls our car accident getting "trunked". She made that up herself completely. I thought it sounded like a Dougism, but it was not in fact. Whenever she sees someone pulled over, she tells me worriedly that they were trunked.

Kalista got to go on the trampoline with this harness that lets you bounce really high. she LOVES it. bounces like crazy. I was surprised she liked it so much. so I decided to book their bday party at that location for May.
We went to the St Patty's Day parade on Saturday and though it was good, it got much too long for my kiddos. after an hour they were toast and it kept going for another 45 minutes. we met with our friends Zephyr and Abby and had a good time though.
So that is all here. Almost a week down, three weeks to go until my first break!

A Few thoughts on AP parenting

2008-02-02T18:56:00.001-08:00

I hang out with people at various locales, that I would describe as "mainstream". in other words, picking up "what to expect" and thinking that its accurate. its not. Or picking up Ferber, and implementing his method of "sleep training".

So, if one cares to, you can look back on posts where Kiera was a baby and I was flipping out because I was trying the CIO method and I didn't know if I should do it or not. And really, if I am perfectly honest, she was not an easy CIOer. There are some babies who respond to Ferber/Ezzo and the baby falls perfectly in line with what they are "suppose" to do, which is "self soothe" and go to sleep. Mine however, was not one of those. And neither would Kalista be for that matter. Kiera would cry for like two hours and I *left* her thinking I was doing the right thing. Now I am still full of guilt, thinking only because of how terrifying it must have been for her to be in a dark room by herself with no one coming. The other thing I found out is that yes, they do fall asleep, but no, its not a good sleep. its a "stress" sleep, which means its not as restful. It goes against every fiber of her instinct to *survive*, so even though I knew she was okay, she didn't.

I won't lie. These past 20 months have been long. Kalista is also not a good sleeper, though I have approached it decidedly different. I did things to help her sleep, and I started to "train" her off of needing me to sleep and at night to nurse, but I can finally say that she is more or less sleeping through the night. and I made it without resorting to letting her scream herself to sleep.

I am doing this because it is good for *her*. because in some ways, the CIO method worked for Kiera. I mean, she was STTN at around 9 months without much of a fuss. but you know when she was around 14 months she refused to let me comfort her, even though I stayed with her in her room while she cried. It was awful. I feel like she distrusted me so completely that she wouldn't let me comfort her even when I changed my mind and said screw this, she is a BABY and I am THE MOTHER and even though it SUCKS, I am doing it for the sake of my child. I thought Kiera wasn't that cuddly, but in fact she was/is. She is very touchy child and I missed out on baby cuddles because of notions of how babies should be independent and reliable.

So I am proud of myself. It has been a struggle with Kalista and I feel like I will forever need to make it up to Kiera, because there can be life long effects from having cortisol spike in your brain and the ability to deal with stress. That is what I am telling myself, that I did it for my child.

Now of course, that begs the question, can I do this again, seriously? I know some people talk about how much sleep they get APing, but when I had to get Kalista out of my bed because cosleeping was clearly no longer working for her, it has been a long time. Not only that, those lovely hormones that breastfeeding gives you that literally synchronize waking times with your baby have recently run out. THANK GOODNESS SHE IS SLEEPING. and that is all I have to say about that...

So yes, that mean that Kalista is still breastfeeding. I am only 4 months short of my goal :)

Onto other things. Kiera has become our snow bunny. I told my mom about it who was not surprised at all. The week prior to Kiera's birth my mom saw my stomach and how it rolled and rolled and how Kiera was really such an active baby it was crazy. So we put her in gymnastics and she is suppose to go to the advanced class for her next round. She was invited. And she has gone skiing a grand total of 3 times and is now suppose to be in Stage 3, after only one day of doing stage 2. ITS CRAZY. I didn't know my kid was that good, but apparently so.

She keeps talking about moving to Japan, Doug is suppose to leave the middle of March. not looking forward to that part that is for sure.

Kalista....ahhhh Kalista. She is our serious drama queen. She has all ready started behaviours that took quite a while for Kiera to start. She is all ready hitting and then when I correct her "no hitting, hitting hurts", she bursts into tears as if I was the one doing the hitting. She has started to say "bad!", because one of Kieras favourite things is currently "BAD MOMMY, Youre a BAD MOMMY!" and bad sister and bad daddy, etc, etc. She cries every day around 5 for around 10 minutes, its pretty much like clock work.

Kiera.....is all ready displaying many signs of being 4 even though that is a few months off. HOLY ATTITUDE BATMAN. Of course, its not unlike looking in a mirror at myself 24 years ago. I remember doing that and it was a combination of annoyance of being told what to do and that I hated screwing up and having to BE told what to do. I hated being less than perfect, how screwed up is that eh? So she insults me in her best almost 4 year old manner, which I try and correct every time, but I gotta tell ya, somedays I just want to pull out my hair at how many times I need to say things. No, I have not resorted to punishment in case you were all wondering. somedays I would *like* to as I have a deep desire for vengeance that I squelch. most of the time. But there is no doubt, she can be a bit of a handful and quite exhausting to parent. I am indeed getting my "payback" from my growing up years and also being labelled a difficult child. so I am going to try really hard to NOT label her as difficult, because she does very well in other settings when I am not in charge (though she doesn't do that fantastic for my friend Abbi, poor Abbi....)

So that is our current life in a nutshell. here are ski bunny pics:

Christmas pictures

2007-12-09T19:25:00.000-08:00

Papantch

2007-11-22T14:05:00.000-08:00

is where we are moving.
I am a "good cooker mommy!"
NO NONO is Kalista's favourite word right now
more later.
Happy American Thanksgiving :)
I have some pictures to post.

Ireland et al

2007-09-19T13:49:00.000-07:00

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Well Ireland was all right. The wedding of course, was beautiful. The trip there was largely uneventful! Only two legs, which is nice and relatively tight connections.
We arrived Monday morning in Dublin to no luggage. *sigh*. we were all ready exhausted of course, rented a car, which costs a billion dollars in insurance because no cars are covered under most traditional CC's. then we were off to the small town of Clifden, very west Ireland. I kept falling asleep the entire time and the bottle of antibiotics I had purchased for Kiera before we left came in really handy. She was very sick and had a high fever, but as soon as I gave her that stuff, she was perkier within 5 hours. thank goodness.
we met up with our friends in Galway and drove for another hour or so along some tiny roads where people race along like they are double lane highways. There was a mix up with the house I thought we were renting, but it was still available. I like to say we were in po dunk Ireland. seriously. in the middle of no where.
we didn't do a heck uv a lot. there was no phone, a TV with two channels (which has, I might add a 120 Euro tax a YEAR) and obviously no internet. We were down the street from a monument made to men flying across the Atlantic successfully for the first time. Kiera went on a pony ride for a half an hour. I was quite proud of her, she took to it like a fish to water. One time the instructor walked away and the horse moved and Kiera didn't even flinch :) Kalista did fine on the flights THERE, the way home she was a bit of a pill. The girls dress, which only 3 months ago were touching the ground were now above both their ankles. Kiera is wearing her ugly shoes because her nice shoes had not yet come.
we went on a ferry, which the girls enjoyed, but there was *nothing* to do on the island it was FREEZING. and Doug forgot Kalista's shoes, so she was being held the whole day. there was some cool castle ruins to explore, but the tide was coming and we would have been stuck on that part until it left. that would stink.
the weather was really bad on Sunday when we woke up so we cut it short, cleaned like mad and did a leisurely drive to Dublin. stopped in Galway for dinner and a bit of exploration. and then found a great hotel for a great price just outside of Dublin. after we got there, I went down to the restaurant looking for some ice cream and I said to the guy "we're just looking for some ice cream" to which he said" just a second!" and wentinto the kitchen to bring us two bowls of ice cream, ON THE HOUSE and practically shooed us out the door. LOL.
So that was pretty much the trip. Not like Egpyt cool, but it was pretty relaxing and we'd do it again, I mean the travel part. another country next time.

This is a funny recent conversation I had with Kiera:
"mommy, could be go and see winter?"
"I am not sure what you mean Kiera"
"could we drive to see winter, or should we fly? because if its winter, its going to be CHRISTMAS and then we'll great presents"
me chortling in the front seat. I then explained to her the seasons "the leaves will turn red and it will turn colder" and then it will be winter. but we can't FLY or drive to winter"....
She full on started preschool today. she missed her second and third classes. she seems to be liking it so far.
we also said bye to the binkies this time, with much fan fare. I am 90% sure I have them all this time though. and she really *got* saying goodbye to them. in fact she cried for about 20 minutes about it. I told her the BF was coming and we had to pack all her binkies up. she cuddled with daddy one last time and when the time came, dropped the last binky into the plastic bag, sobbing the whole time. but she did it. and she fell asleep without it. and by God, this will be the LAST TIME SHE EVER HAS ONE IN HER MOUTH AGAIN.

A Big Day at Our House

2007-09-05T15:15:00.000-07:00

Today was Kiera's first day of PRESCHOOL! Well it wasn't a full day, it was an open house where she met her teacher and familiarized herself with the classroom. We got her dressed in her new clothes, which she insisted that she wear. She looked adorable, of course. Now I just need to find her headband, which I cant find, sigh. Friday is her first full day, Doug will be here to do the dropping off. I am hoping she will be okay. And that I won't be a mess.
I will upload some pictures when I am on the other computer.

Now, let me think of some stories. Kalista has TONS of words, right now she is doing a lot of parroting what we say, but she is trying really hard. She loves shoes. She insists on wearing them all the time. "ooo, ooo!" When daddy calls or I am on the phone, she yells at me wanting to talk on the phone too. Especially the cell phone. She says "HI!" on the phone quite clearly to anyone who is willing to listen. This morning while we were at preschool she finished her snack and I told her the cup needs to go in the garbage. She looked at me, and walked right over to the garbage and threw it away. She is now able to go down the slide at the park all by herself, which she is also quite pleased with. The other day I put her in a dress intended for next summer, so its big. I tried to get it off her for church, but she freaked out and wouldn't let me. And she started saying "Daddy! daddy!" I deduced that she wanted to show daddy her dress. And sure enough as soon as she saw him she lunged for him and pointed at her dress. To which of course he said "you look so pretty!" and then she blushed. It was quite cute. She is finally quite in love with daddy.
Kiera of course, is always full of mischief. Right now she is telling me on a regular basis "I know daddy doesn't want any more babies, but I would really like a baby brother in there" as she pats my tummy. I tell her we are thinking about it and that I can't guarantee a brother.
She also has coached Kalista through labour a few times. One time Kalista was standing in the spot where I gave birth and said "okay, just one more push and the baby will be out!" seriously. She talks about being born all the time. she has described how she was born, mommy being cut open and then we got to see each other for the first time. and how it hurt mommy lots and lots. I really honestly wonder if she remembers being born. She has expressed she would like to be born again at home and Kalista can be born in the hospital. I assure her often that mommy and daddy were SO HAPPY when she was born and so glad she was here.
I have also come to the conclusion that she is an ENFJ. just like someone else I know ;) Actually that is Oprah Winfreys profile as well. Anyway, it does make her a bit more prone to anxiety when things don't go as planned. She gets a bit freaked out. For example, she thought GG M were coming to dinner, but it was GG Q, which made her really upset. She would hardly come down for dinner. sigh. this is going to be challenging and I am going to have to learn ways to deal with her anxiety without exacerbating it or demeaning it either.
Her present reality and her past and even future get a bit mixed up with her fantasy life. She often states things like "we went to Nana's beach house yesterday" of course that was 3 months ago, so that obviously is not the case. We went to a birthday party and when I wasn't there she walked in and announced that "I am going to the dentist tomorrow!" which she isn't. She is definitely in the words are magic stage.
She has a highly developed sense of justice. if she is not allowed to say something, than neither am I. If she isn't allowed to act a certain way, than neither am I. This is not in issues regarding what adults can do and what children cannot do. more like.............moral things. Like in our family we are not suppose to yell at each other. or hit each other. that kind of thing.
She sure is interesting. they both keep me on my toes.

Kiera's first "show"

2007-08-05T14:19:00.000-07:00

She insists on calling it a "magic show"

doing my albums like mad

2007-07-14T07:33:00.000-07:00

Apparently the pictures are first. This was a fun bathing session outside with Katie, her sister Laura and the girls day before we left:

This is the hotel room in Vancouver:
San Fran airport:

Rehearsal:
She was putting on sunglasses and was quite pleased with herself:

Kalista in her flower girl dress:

Kiera walking up the aisle:

Disneyland, castle behind us:

Family Photo:
One of her only smiles all day:
Kiera having a meltdown:
Carousel:

going up to Splash mountain:

I finally am pretty much finished Kiera's album. seriously it was taking SO LONG because every time I thought I was done, I found more photos to add. its ridiculous. now I just have to edit and make sure my font all matches and its off to the printers. I have all ready completed the first few pages of Kalistas album too. Looking over the blog I realised I stated a lot more of Kiera's progress in the langauge department than I have for Kalista. so for records sake:
words:
mama, mommyeeeeeeeeeeeee, buba, bubeeeeeeee, dada, daddy, nana (drink or food), what's that?, BO! (which is boo) she also signs "milk" when she wants some mama milk. she isn't even close to weaned, Kiera was done by this age. She was walking by 11.5 months. Even when she can't talk, she makes her wishes known. like this morning she was out of water in her cup so she put the cup right into my hand and pretty much yelled at me until I got the message that she was out of water. Yesterday she really wanted me to open her raisins for her so she did the same thing. When she is ticked at me, she pinches or hits me, she has been doing that since she was around 10ish months. She can be very charming when she wants to be, all smiles, giggles, etc. But when she is in a bad mood, she lets you know that is for sure. She tries really hard to sing all the songs with Kiera and play the same games. Like yesterday Kiera made up this hand slapping game that Kalista followed with her own version she thought was hilarious.
Yesterday we went to the zoo and put her on the train by herself, which she LOVED. Apparently just her speed. none of this crazy Waterworld business going down in big tubes. She was stoic, completely stoic. She tolerated it, not LOVED it like her crazy sister Kiera. She has almost all of her teeth at 14 months, minus her two year molars. She was/is a terrible teether, basically cries the whole time they are moving. not that I blame her. The biggest thing about Kalista that is different from her sister is that she she is/was a mommy pig. She wants me all the time, daddy can't soothe her. it makes for an exhausting time of it. she doesn't really sleep that well. She still wakes up once a night, at least. sometimes she cries for the entire time she is up. did I mention its totally exhausting? She loves the Beco, I like it too, hands free! I sling her a lot more than I ever did Kiera.

We have had a super super busy month. On June 21st we left for Japan. I was intuitively anxious about it, and it didn't look that great to get there. We got up at 4am Tuesday morning, got on our flight to San Fran quite easily. We sat in San Fran all day and got dusted from all the flights. I called Air Canada and we decided to try out of Vancouver, flew to Vancouver got a hotel and the next day discovered our tickets were not enough to use on the AC flight to Narita. so we then took a bus down to Seattle and spent the night at Nana and granddad's place (even though they were all ready in Japan) and went to the Seattle airport to try out of there. we didn't get on any of the flights to Narita, but we did get on the one to Hawaii at like 700pm or something. we were exhausted needless to say. we were also down to one bag, as it had been the trip of losing bags as we went. We got to Japan, and Doug's suitcase was there. Then we went on to catch our next flight, who told us they could clear us (THANK GOODNESS), but not our bags. so by the time we arrived at our final destination, we had just the backpacks on our backs. that's it. We did have the flower girl dresses with us though. which was good.
The wedding was lovely of course. the girls didn't do too badly considering it was like REALLY late their time, we were only there for less than 2 days by the time it was the wedding. Kiera was embarrassed and pleased at the same time that people looked at her. Though I had hopes that Kalista would hold her sisters hand and walk down the aisle, it didn't happen. She was very fussy and miserable for 90% of the trip. she nursed like a newborn, slept terribly and took almost 10 days when we got home to adjust again. I really really hate travelling with babies between the ages of 12-18 months, I remember it being the worst for Kiera too and we never crossed any oceans.
We stayed for a while after the wedding. the weather went back and forth between rain and sunshine. Kiera had a great time on the beach. In fact yesterday she told me she would like the ocean outside, just like at Nana's beach house. Funny kid. We decided to go to Tokyo Disneyland on the Monday before we left. it was great. It only solidified my opinion that Kiera is an adrenaline junkie. First we took her on her first coaster, the Gadget one. she LOVED IT. she even screamed. she went on it three times. We did a bunch of other smaller rides that Kalista could do with us as well, like the airplanes that flew above the park. and the Buzz light year one. she is only two inches from being able to do space mountain. anyway, she went on SPLASH MOUNTAIN! the first time she cried at the end and when I said the big hill was over, she said she wanted to do it again, which she did with daddy. now she calls it the "water coaster" and she asked us to buy it :P our trip home was totally uneventful, got the first flight we tried on, it was an ANA flight which was great because they had this bassinet thingy that Kalista slept for a little over half the flight. She is so squirmy I was happy that had that service. And we caught the first flight home.
anyway. we have been home for about 10 days now, Kalista is adjusted back with the help of melatonin. we have been busy with my mom being here we went to Water World and to the Zoo yesterday. its been busy but fun. my mom ended up having to stay an extra couple of days because of a buddy pass mix up. other than that, same old here.
here are the pics that I have:

make sure you look at

2007-06-08T09:54:00.001-07:00

this in explorer. I downloaded videos you can't see on firefox for whatever reason.

so far behind I think I am ahead

2007-06-08T09:23:00.000-07:00

so I have been a neglectful mother. I have so much stuff to post its crazy.
First off we had their birthday party. it was fun. it was at the park and we sat at some picnic tables and had a Over the Hedge theme. the girls wore their apple dresses. they looked adorable. we got presents from most of the grandparents, which Kiera loved to unwrap of course.

Just FTR, because I think its pretty funny, Kiera has her own set of "swear" words. we are currently working on acceptable expressions of anger. we are trying to come up with what is okay in our family to do that I won't find disrespectful. for example, spitting at me is not something I can deal with. but hitting something is an outlet I am okay with. yes its physical, but whatever. I know that big displays of emotions sometimes freak people out. but if I am *really* okay with an emotion like anger, then I need to act okay with it and give her tools to do with her anger in an appropriate manner. I can't just expect her to figure it out on her own.
okay here are Kieras swear words :" scoonie" when she is really mad she starts yelling (not okay, we are working on that), but she throws this word into her tirade. what it means exactly I am not sure. her second word : Elise. this makes me ROFLing. because when I am ticked at her, I say KIERA ELISE P......... so apparently to her that is a BAD word that she has added to her vocabulary when she is ticked.
BAD MOTHER OF THE YEAR AWARD GOES TO : ME. because she has also added damnit to her vocab. oops. clearly I need to make sure I grumble inwardly at the very least. I am not sure what to do with this one. I have read two possible responses 1) don't respond at all, ignore it or 2) say " we don't say words like that in our family, they are not nice". of course that means I have to be 100% good all the time. which I will admit is a challenge to me, even if I agree with the premise that using "wholesome" words is better, especially around kids. so basically anyone who sees my children in the next 6 weeks or so, sorry if she uses a bad word. I am working on it :P

okay onto the pics/videos.

Can you tell I got my camera fixed?

2007-05-08T09:17:00.000-07:00

Again :P anyway, we also bought Kiera her OWN camera for her birthday. I couldn't handle her asking for mine over and over.
Here are a couple of cute pictures she took of her sister:

Girls bday pics

2007-05-07T17:50:00.000-07:00

We went today, it went pretty well. phew.

more funny words by Kiera

2007-05-07T17:44:00.000-07:00

plip plops (flip flops)
datteries (batteries)
can Ganabby come and play with me? (babysitter from downstairs named Gabby)

she makes me larf.

Kalista's walking!

2007-05-06T15:06:00.000-07:00

yep, our baby is up and walking around. of course she is falling on her bum more often than Kiera did, but she is motoring. I thought it would maybe make her more likely to hang out, but not really, I am still very much wanted.

here is Kalista's list of words:
mama (her current fave of course)
dada
buba (bentley)
hi
sita (sister)
hereyago

Kieras memory is like an elephant. today we were watching a tv program about Santa Fe, NW. Kiera said "Ive been there mommy! with Mere! "Mere is memere aka Collette. she has never been there, but close to our house there are some cliff dwellings that aren't nearly as amazing, but look the same nonetheless. then she says "I was very angry that day mommy." "why were you angry Kiera?" "because of the candy, I couldn't have the candy and that made me very angry"

it totally amazes me that she will likely not remember any of this.

A totally hilarious Kiera story

2007-04-10T18:09:00.000-07:00

So Rene is visiting. Because she was, I was fortunate enough to be able to take a shower without worrying the house was going to burn down. I had told Kiera that Rene had a baby Nora who was coming with Rene. so this morning their conversation whilst I showered:
K: so I see you have a baby, you just got married.
Rene: I have been married for four years
K: my mommy and daddy just got married and then they had a baby..me!
R: yep, they sure did
K: I have a baby too, in my tummy (starts pushing like imitating me in labour, which she did in fact watch almost a year ago)
R: oh are you having your baby now?
K: no I can't push my baby out now cause I am not married yet
R; oh?
K: I don't have a husband, so I can't have my baby yet!

I am totally ROFLing.

Memere also came to visit

2007-04-03T19:24:00.000-07:00

Memere came on Monday, with Uncle Kieran and Uncle Tiegh and Sir Kevin. one of the funny moments happened when Kiera started to call Kevin "granddad" and went.............oh wait! that isn't right! we all laughed. I would post pictures, except that my headache of a camera, the battery was OVER charged and killed it. I am so frustrated with that darn thing.

It was a good visit. We went to GOG and did a small hike and another place that people lived in carved out of the mountain. During our trip, Kiera decided to do the mother of all meltdowns. In other words I have never seen her act so, well childish in her entire life. And it was all over candy. sigh. no, I didn't give in and yes she did improve. but it took probably 25 minutes of very big feelings before it dissipated. Usually just validating her feelings does the trick, but not this time, she went on and on and on and on. But I survived and so did she and later we talked about it and she told me "mommy I couldn't stop myself", which is pretty good self awareness for a no quite 3 year old.

Doug and the guys went skiing and we did a bit of shopping and then out for a fantastic meal at the Cheesecake Factory. hmmmmmmmmmm. good food. Then the girls and I went for another visit on Friday while the boys skiied again, sans Doug this time. Kiera got to go in the pool, which she was thrilled about and did her crazy jumping in with her head under water and coming out raring for more. It was a great energy killer and when we left she told memere that "you come in our car" and memere said she had to stay. Kiera was very broken up about this and started crying :( but we continued on our merry way and she soon fell asleep. But she has declared she wants to see memere very soon.
I will post some pictures when I get them from memere's camera :)

Granddad and Nana's visit

2007-04-03T19:14:00.000-07:00

A busy month

2007-04-03T19:04:00.000-07:00

The month of March was pretty busy for us. Kiera is still amazes me with what comes out of her mouth at the ripe old age of 3.

Granddad and Nana came to visit for about a week and luckily the weather cooperated. I have a few good pics I will download. After they left, Ace came where the famous bathroom story happened. Then we left to see my parents in YYC. It ended up being a pretty hoo-humm week because Kalista was teething, as she seems to be doing constantly these days, her nose was runny and she was miserable. We decided to go swimming at this pool with a wave pool and water slide, which normally Kiera would love. She did enjoy it, but was *asking* to go back to grandmas house. as soon as we got home, we noticed that she had spiked a fever and was quite miserable all evening, well pretty much the rest of the week. Andrea came over for a visit and I think she has some kind of odd jealousy of Andrea or something because poor Andrea has never seen her HAPPY. I swear she is happy 90% of her life. so we ended up postponing our leave until Sunday where the flight home the girls slept peacefully the entire time, well almost. then we got stuck in a certain city for our last flight for 2.5 hours waiting for a broken plane. me, a baby, a preschooler and a dog is always interesting. but I must say Kiera is getting much easier to fly with.
I also found out I am on the s*** list in Canada if I lose another passport. I can't believe me somedays. WHERE does my head go!?

Since being home Kalista has sprouted her FIRST YEAR MOLARS. excuse me as I pull my hair out in abject misery of being around a child whose mouth is in constant pain. its just so JOYFUL. but I will survive. I swear she is half an inch from walking, she can hold on to just one our our hands and walk around, she is trying to walk from couch to couch, but still feeling less than confident. she WANTS to go let me tell ya, and I would be extremely surprised if she isn't running around by the time her first birthday arrives, which is also only 1 month and a bit away! I can't believe my baby is almost a year. sigh. she is just the cutest thing.

Not much else going on here. its warmer finally and looking springish. now I just need to get my landscaping under control.

"dont poop in my bathroom!"

2007-03-17T14:07:00.000-07:00

Doug's friend was visiting us for the weekend. He went upstairs to use the facilities. Kiera began knocking on the door "what are you doing? what are you doing?" "using the restroom" knock knock "what are you doing?" "using the restroom" "you cant poop at my house! don't come to my house and poop! poop at your own house!"

ROFL

awwwwwwwwwwwww

2007-03-17T13:36:00.000-07:00

Kim and I a looonggggggggggg time ago

Some pictures

2007-03-09T16:14:00.000-08:00

Kiera, my daugher who IS related to me, voluntary cleaning the floor.

Of Kiera cleaning the floor, Kiera "feeding" Kalista, our nearly walking baby.

Make sure to open this with explorer because you can click on the videos and hear some sound.

here is another pissme off lactivist article

2007-03-08T16:57:00.000-08:00

yeah I know I am semi ranting again. but seriously, if you want some HARD CORE evidence that formula companies DELIBERATELY subvert breastfeeding because THEY make money, here is the proof:
http://www.mothering.com/guest_editors/quiet_place/123.html

have I mentioned how TOTALLY ripped this makes me?
oh yhea, you all ready figured that out.

"Sorry guys!"

2007-03-06T20:20:00.000-08:00

That was Kiera's comment after letting out a MASSIVE belch at the dinner table. Manners wise she isn't doing Too bad, though she is usually done far before we are and wants to leave the table to "wash my hands" using lots of my soap after washing over and over again. my OCD child.

I bought the girls Easter dresses and they are just SO CUTE! I am quite pleased. I also purchased the accessories today, hat, shoes, tights, gloves, etc. I will take lots of pictures, probably even a video or two.

Everytime I sit down to write stuff, I swear my brain shuts off and I can remember hardly anything of what has been going on here.

Kiera did inform us yesterday that she would like a baby brother. and that she remembers being born, she got a "hat and a blankie and I was very coooolllld" and that "I came out of mummy's BELLY, and Kista came out out mummys bum" she did see the whole thing. She still talks about "kista" being born too, in the toy room, and that I was in the water. I remember my sister being born and I was 2.75 years old. I distinctly remember a specific photo being shot and being told to smile and thinking I didn't know how and so I have this totally goofy look on my face. I also think I remember turning 2 and hoping for something I had seen in the store earlier and hoping I would be unwrapping it, like pajamas or something? its a really early memory, but its still there.

Nana and Grandad are here visiting for a few days. Kiera was THRILLED she finally got to paint with Nana as she had been promised. I shot my first gun tonight as well. shhhhhhhhhh, don't tell anyone ;)

Pictures please

2007-02-23T16:15:00.000-08:00

Sisters in Snot, same age, two years apart. oh yes, memere, this snot's for you ;)

Shining Mummy looks Good Moments

2007-02-17T16:06:00.000-08:00

The other day all of us went to the grocery store. I am not particularly fond of going to the grocery store with all of my children, but alas with Doug being gone a lot, if we want to eat, it must happen.

First we hit produce, where Kiera sees the fresh produce and exclaims "MUMMy! BROCCOLI MUMMY! BROCCOLI!" Some ladies heard this, all laughed at her apparent excitement over broccolli and said NICE WORK MOM!. There I am laughing quite hard and grinning wildly at the same time.

After that lovely trip we were driving home and in the store window a beautiful RED dress caught my eye, so I parked the car and raced down there, girls in tow. Got in the store, asked to see the dress and went to the change room to try in on. while in there, Kiera got the excitment of playing with the beanie babies on hand, she came in often to tell me "mummy! a giraffe! a money mommy!" it was all very exciting.

The dress was very nice, but it was 80 bucks and too long.

as we were leaving, totally unprompted she turns to the sales lady and says "Thank you for letting me play with your toys" Jawdrop! the lady was quite pleased and said "wow, nice manners you are very welcome, that is what they are there for." it made me look really good too! LOL.

As another discourse: I have recently discovered that I don't think Kiera doesn't respond to punishment, pretty much at all. She made a giant mess of these popcorn things in the package that our camera came back in and refused to clean them up. I was a bit short on patience and told her she would have a time out in her room unless she cleaned. well she refused. so I put her in her room. she wailed. she came out and she STILL refused to clean it up. So then I did what I should have done in the first place and took her hands and made her clean up the mess herself. It was a lot more peaceful, though more work for me. sigh.

I also had a lactivist/ventish moment this morning while I at the grocery store. I keep getting this coupons for mega money off formula. I was so ticked that I keep getting these things, because they know I have a baby because of the purchases I have made. So I told the manager that in the very least, these very incredibly unethical and it really angered me that these formula companies thought they had a right to compromise the health of my child and what would happen if I was less educated about breastfeeding? I would probably fall for the formula companies lies.
which brings me to this link: http://www.webcommentary.com/asp/ShowArticle.asp?id=simonl&date=070211

Its by some old dude who just views women breastfeeding as FEEDING THIER BABIES. how completely shocking is that. its quite pathetic that I have to defend my right to feed my baby, though I think I have finally come up with a good line if I ever get challenged (though for some reason that has never happened to me before ;) ) "its my legal right to breastfeed, and its your legal right to look away ", I really suck at comebacks. so I think this will suffice.

The ignorance over bfing STILL astounds me, not just doing it publically, but the health benefits as well. I had a nieghbour press me about when I was going to wean, and she was 8 months old with no interest in solids. I was like "well, AAP recommends to a minimum of a year, and WHO recommends to a mimimum of two years ", and the response was "well, I guess two years in places with not very good nutrition." LOL. seriously. I mean, to me its just showing obvious ignorance about the extended benefits of bfing for longer than a year. and seriously, why would I want to quit a good thing? Human milk for human babies I say. Its not like the benefits of bfing magically stop at one year. the idea is so ridiculous and so propagated by FORMULA companies it drives me batty, though weaning at 6 months is suppose to be normal. By not giving them my business, they lose around a thousand dollars. they will never see a dime of my money from this baby this time around.

I also have another, though more offensive link to add. if you are offended easily, I would suggest you not read this one, though I personally find it totally hilarious.
http://homepages.together.net/~plomp/thing.htm

So I am still a lactivist and still doing a lot of learning and its quite fascinating. I am considering becoming an LC/doula. how cool would that be?

Had to add these

2007-02-10T12:50:00.000-08:00

LMAO

I am an ENFP

2007-02-03T09:54:00.000-08:00

And just for fun I thought I would post a little bit about my personality type. I have not yet typed Kiera, but I am hoping that day isn't too far away. I am also posting this in hopes that it will shed light on why I am the way I am (LOL). Apparently I am very idealistic and passionate about things I believe in. HAHAHA. no kidding. so don't hold it against me ;)

"ENFPs often have strong, if unconvential, convictions on various issues related to their Cosmic View. They usually try to use their social skills and contacts to persuade people gently of the rightness of these views; his sometimes results in their negle cting their nearest and dearest while flitting around trying to save the world."
ENFPs hate bureaucracy, both in principle and in practice; they will always make a point of launching one of their crusades against some aspect of it.
ENFPs are global learners. Close enough is satisfactory to the ENFP, which may unnerve more precise thinking types, especially with such things as piano practice ("three quarter notes or four ... what's the difference?") Amazingly, some ENFPs are adept at exacting disciplines such as mathematics.

And apparently I married the right man:" Here is the herald, the spirited bearer of tiding. But underneath this effervescent enthusiasm is a person fiercely dedicated to "meaning" in life and reminiscent of the INFP crusader. Only the ENFP neither crusades nor meditates, not for long anyway. The ENFP is into everything, frisky, not unlike a puppy, sniffing around to see what's new. ENFP has to be in on everything, can't bear to be left out of anything. That's why they make such splendid reporters, newscasters, and journalists. Mercury. Now who would enjoy this frisky, bubbly-yet serious-person? The Rock of Gibraltar, of course-ISTJ, the "trustee." ISTJ, who revels in "keeping the books in order," "balancing the budget," "securing and ensuring," "stabilizing and steadying," "honoring contracts," "keeping the ship on a steady course" and "shipshape," delights also in providing anchorage and safe harbor for the heraldic ENFP."

Why I struggle with not liking when I mess up as a perfect parent, though apparently I am suppose to be inconsistent. "An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values."

And poor Kiera:
" Having an ENFP parent can be a fun-filled experience, but may be stressful at times for children with strong Sensing or Judging tendancies. Such children may see the ENFP parent as inconsistent and difficult to understand, as the children are pulled along in the whirlwind life of the ENFP. Sometimes the ENFP will want to be their child's best friend, and at other times they will play the parental authoritarian. But ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems, which they will impress on their children above all else, along with a basic joy of living.

Famous ENFPs:
Franz Joseph Haydn
Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain)
Will Rogers
Buster Keaton
Theodor "Dr." Seuss Geisel (The Cat in the Hat)
Mickey Rooney
James Dobson ("Focus on the Family") THIS IS GODS COSMIC JOKE
Andy Rooney
Carol Burnett
Paul Harvey
Elizabeth Montgomery (Bewitched)
Bill Cosby (Ghost Dad)
Dom Delouise, actor
Dave Thomas, owner of Wendy's hamburger chain
Lewis Grizzard, newspaper columnist
I. King Jordan, president of Gallaudet University
Martin Short, actor-comedian
Meg Ryan, actor (When Harry Met Sally)
Robin Williams, actor, comedian (Dead Poet's Society, Mrs. Doubtfire)
Sandra Bullock, actor (Speed, While You Were Sleeping)
Robert Downey (Heart and Souls)
Alicia Silverstone (Clueless)
Sinbad
Andy Kaufman

The history of children...

2007-02-03T09:28:00.000-08:00

This is a cross post from my friend Camille's Blog. I think its pretty cool. Basically when Jesus came, He shook up a lot of stuff, not just for women, not just for slaves, but for children. I know we have all heard the story of Jesus saying "Let the children come to me...", but again we fail to realise how radical His treatment of children really was in a society that only valued men (generally), viewed women as chattel, and children as disposable.
I don't think as a society we have embraced the radical way that Jesus valued children, clearly. But the fact the elevated them to "human being" status was pretty amazing and also very Hebrew of Him.
Here is Camille's blog:

A philosopher, an orator, and two Rabbis walk into the day care center. . . .”

And who sticks around to play with the kids while the other two sourpusses can only flare their nostrils in disgust? According to Judith M. Gundry-Volf, hands down the Rabbis. She compares the ancient near-Eastern attitudes toward children, and I’m a tad flabbergasted that the Graeco-Roman ways sound so familar.

To the Greek, a child was weak and deficient. He couldn’t talk, think, or take care of himself. The child was simply an underdeveloped human, a social drain. The child in Greece and Rome was equal to the slave, occupying the lowest rung of the cultural ladder. Cicero, too, commented that childhood, “the thing itself cannot be praised, only its potential.” Childhood wasn’t a time to be admired and relished, but simply endured.

And so their brutal practices toward the child make sense. In Rome, the father had complete and entire authority over the child’s life. He could capriciously decide to recognize and raise it or “cast it out.” Sometimes ne'er-do-wells would pick up these newborns and raise them as slaves or worse. Think of the brutal killings in Egypt and under Herod’s reign. These crimes cut especially deep into the Hebrew soul. Gundry-Volf points out that the practice of casting out newborns was so prominent in the Near East, that everyone at the time was surprised that the Jews didn’t do it.

For the Jews, the child participated in God’s Promise. “Children were thus members of God’s covenant with Israel–in rabbinic teaching, even those still in the womb–and it was expected that they would assume covenantal responsibilities” (35). Now there are stories in Hellenic culture about generous souls that take in these foundlings. But there’s one major difference between those legends and what Mark describes in his Gospel:

Quote

While Plutarch and Diodorus depict memorable or legendary women as taking children into their arms and as exemplary in this respect for other women, Mark depicts Jesus, a man, taking a little child into his arms as an example for his male disciples in particular, and all disciples in general.. . . . Jesus thus redefines the service of children as a sign of greatness for all disciples. What appeared to be an undistinguished activity–care for children, belonging to the domain of women, similarly marginalized people–becomes a prime way for all disciples to demonstrate the greatness that corresponds to the reign of God (44).

So for Christ, the child was not just the recipient of God’s blessing, not just the model for the kingdom, but also His representatives of mercy! Gundry-Volf wonders if it’s because children were not expected to keep the Law in the least that Christ features their faith alone. They just enjoy their friendship with Christ without pretense or expectation.

While the Greeks and Romans hear children’s words as silly, Christ hears praise to God and from God in their words. While the Greeks and Romans see children as inadequate, Paul sees them as holy. In Colossians and Ephesians, both, children are fellow members of the Church, deserving of respect and kindness.

When the Greeks and Romans look at a child, they see, at best, disposable property and, at worst, a burden. But Paul sees a fellow Christian. And Christ sees a perfect believer, unencumbered by social mores and legal burdens.

Chicken Pox has arrived

2007-01-27T16:02:00.000-08:00

As if it couldnt get any worse. Doug being gone for like ever, and this on top of it. sigh. Kalista came down with the chicken pox on Tuesday, confirmed Wednesday and I have been confined to my house ever since. well I had to go to court over my loser tenants that I had to evict, but other than that, I have been mostly hanging out here.

This was a crack me up from the other day. I went to the store, bought apples. I often buy fruit for Kiera, but she doesn't always eat it and I hate bananas and they often go to waste. anyway, she went to the bathroom (wha hoo) and she said "mummy, can I get apple for going pee pee on the potty?" ROFL....OF COURSE you can my darling...

I might not be posting pics for a while, as my camera has once again randomly cratered. grrr. I sent if off to be repaired. its too bad because I really should have gotten a picture of Kalista covered in pox, I have one, we all should....

the good news is: DOUG IS HOME THIS FRIDAY! WHA HOO! I have almost survived the entire time. and everything that can happen bad, pretty much has. non paying tenants, a crappy "vacation" to Miami, court dates, evictions AND a baby with the pox. and being stuck in the house with two small children virtually 24-7 for 6 weeks. I deserve an award :)

2007-01-21T10:17:00.000-08:00

Kalistas Famous pics

2007-01-21T09:08:00.000-08:00

DUh, why didn't I do this before? you can TOTaLLY tell its not her body in the second picture! how funny.

Mamamamamamama

2007-01-21T08:08:00.000-08:00

Its Bathtime little Tiger!
I look goofy, but this was at the zoo on a fake camel: The one of Doug and Kiera is the only somewhat decent one I got of them on the carosel...goofy me. Kalista enjoying her first cookie. A picture Kiera took of Kalista, and when Kiera invaded my makeup and put it all over her face. oh yes, and the breastpump picture. Trying to get milk from a stone basically. HAHAHA.

Yesterday Kalista said MAMA, as CLEAR as a bell. I was thrilled. about time! and the amazing thing? I even managed to capture it on video!

Oh yeah and a big funny, I looked at Targets website and sure enough, Kalista is on there now. but what makes it funny, is that its not her body! LOL. they photoshopped her head. now I am wondering who the heck's body that is....here is another link: http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/sr=1-12/qid=1169396025/ref=sr_1_12/602-4320307-5905443?ie=UTF8&asin=B000K16B9S
I know it doesn't all fit, just copy and paste as best as you can. I am not sure why it doesn't allow live links on here, but then I am not super talented at this thing anyway....

Kalista our SuperModel baby!

2007-01-19T07:41:00.000-08:00

okay, not really. BUT, hilariously enough this job she went to model for back in September, she got! They are suppose to release the product to Target this month, I was looking on Target, but not Boppy's site, well I went to look this morning and THERE SHE WAS! They took pictures of her in various positions for instructions, so its also possible she will be not just on the outside of the product, but the instructions as well! so now I just have to buy this product, even though clearly she is too old for it now. LOL. here is the link: http://shopboppy.com/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=3&products_id=94

Its been crazy here since Christmas. but we believe Kalista is saying Hi! and talking to DADADADADADA when she sees him. We went to Miami to see Doug, it was almost a complete disaster. I have considered writing out the details of the horrid trip, but it was to depressing. Suffice to say I hate Miami and the fact that NO ONE speaks English. I took a few pictures, but it wasn't very exciting. A few funny stories: we were eating calamari with marinara sauce, and Kalista was sitting on the table watching us. we gave her a piece to chew on herself which she was enjoying. She was watching us get marinara and she was so determined, she bent right over and dipped her own squid! sat up and ate it herself. it was pretty crazy!
I also got my feet down and brought the girls with me of course. it was a Vietnamese run place and I just let this nice lady hold Kalista while I got my feet done. The lady loved it. Kiera started to get a bit squirrly toward the end, so that same lady took Kiera and started to do her nails with a clear polish and did a little flower. Kiera sat there like an old pro, like she'd done it a thousand times, it was really quite comical. I wish I had had my camera handy. she was extremely pleased with her flower, needless to say.
We went to the zoo, and Kiera took some good pics. I was pretty tired by this point, but thankfully it wasn't overly sunny out or it would have been just too hot. we did have fun with daddy though, on his only partial day off.

I will post pics later.

More funny words

2007-01-05T13:11:00.000-08:00

Pupcakes: cupcakes
Toast office: post office

I will add more when they happen. they just totally make me LOL.

Christmas, etc...

2007-01-02T10:03:00.000-08:00

It has been a crazy month at our house! Doug has started his new job as of December 21st, but hasn't quit his old one. Basically he is using vacation and juggling some stuff to make it work with his new job. Which we are both pretty relieved about at this point, because things look a bit sketchy with the other job maybe even starting. So we will see.
To get to Doug's job was quite an adventure. we had a MASSIVE snowstorm that effectively cut off all air traffic and most driving. so my dh braved the weather, perhaps foolishly and drove to the nearest metropolitan city to fly out of. Our car is still sitting there and we are working on getting it repaired.

Christmas felt a bit anti climactic. Because Doug was gone so much, we barely had a moment to shop. The lovely Christmas I had envisioned of relaxing and having daddy around just did not exist. Instead Doug arrived Christmas Eve at 2pm and left Boxing Day at 9am again. So it has been just me and the girls and the baby who will not sleep. To say I am exhausted feels like a bit of an understatement. The thought of going anywhere is a bit overwhelming but the thought of staying here is also terrifying, so I will probably just suck it up and go and visit Doug at his training center.

Christmas Day was fun. We spent the night before wrapping presents and setting up the new track for Kiera's much anticipated train. I thought we had more track than we actually do, so we were only able to make one circle. Kiera came down Christmas morning and we had to turn her around for her to actually SEE her track, after which it was hard to pull her from it to even open her new presents. We bought her the Tickle Me Elmo Extreme edition, which both girls thought was pretty hilarious and smaller stuff, like Band in a box, etc. About half of the expected gifts had arrived from various other sources, because of the storm everything was really behind in terms of mail. the rest of it came on Friday after Christmas. So thank you everyone for the fun gifts for us and the girls. Kiera's other favourite gift was the rings and earrings from Cami and Deidre, which I personally find pretty hilarious, why is it that kids always love the most inexpensive thing the most! LOL! Grandma got them some nice warm jammies among other things and Nana got Kiera the plane to the Geotrax set. Kiera is quite pleased to have her own plane and one night while Daddy was away she slept with his figurine picture and that plane. It was cute but sad at the time time. It really makes me respect military mama's a lot more. I am not sure how they do this with daddy being gone all the time and having no help.

Funny words: Pakin for napkin and my current favourite: hangebur for hamburger. it sounds SO hilarious to Doug and I we can't help but call it the same thing....

Kalista is CLAPPING and its SO CUTE for words. She just figured out how to do it and she imitates us when we do it, and I have even asked her to clap for me and she has done it. She has definitely become more emotional when telling us what she thinks about things, yelling at the top of her lungs when she gets a toy taken away from her for instance (uh ummm....Kiera...). Kiera tries to be quite the little mum with Kalista, she brings diapers and hugs her when she is crying, always imitates what I am saying "I am coming! I'll be right there!" that kind of thing. in fact her parrotness only makes me MORE aware that I need to be very careful of what I say to anyone in our house. Like telling Bentley to shut up for instance when he barks (which is way toomuch to not be annoying), now I have to say BE QUIET BUBBEE, and she also tries to boss Bentley within an inch of his life as well. Its pretty funny actually.

Everything is up in the air in our house. I am not sure if we are going to be here a year from now, or if we'll be preparing to move or what. its kind of discouraging in some ways because I think it would be nice to actually put roots down somewhere for a while. but alas, I married an adventured and wanderer so I shouldn't expect anything less than a constant itch. I just hope we don't drive our kids crazy dragging them all over the world. Unlike Doug I would ideally like them to be able to say " we are from ______________", wherever that may be at some point in time.

Lots to catch up on!

2006-12-20T09:56:00.000-08:00

It seems our little Kiera is getting bigger by the day. A couple of weeks ago, she decided to deposit her bowels into the toilet! YAY for ME!!! We have ditched the dipes, and though she has had a few accidents, she has also had complete non accident days since. Part of it is habit now and getting used to going in the potty all the time. And I mean, really who wants to stop and use the potty when one is playing?? so she is doing a great job, only a dipe at night! I am so thrilled.

AND the other big news is that her binky/soother is GONE! I did this prep for her for 3 days before I did the big deed. I told her the binky fairy was coming and was going to give them to babies who needed them. She was VERY unhappy. Told me she wanted it in her mouth :( that the other babies didnt need them :(, etc, etc. I just reflected her feelings, told her that it was okay to be sad, but we were still going to say goodbye to them. When the day came, we went around the house collecting them and put them in a bag. we then went outside and tied the bag in a tree. My nieghbour had agreed to trade out the bag for me, and a few minutes later we went outside to see Kieras new present! In exchange, she got a Dr. Suess book, Green Eggs, because hers was "broken" and Fox in Socks, which we all ready had a copy of. she was THRILLED. she talked about it all day. then naptime came and she had a minor meltdown. I wasn't sure of my choice of books, but I realise its actually a great substitution at bedtime. we read GEAH and she was quite pleased. That night was her bigger meltdown, she started "I don't want a present! I want my binky!" I just gave her lots of cuddles and she was able to process that they truly were gone. so I am SO HAPPY. I was so darn sick of trying to find those goofy things in the dark, let me tell ya.

I wanted to post some funny words she says and I was sitting her trying to think of them:
: tanties, for panties, though its sounding more like panties these days.

last night she was sitting on my lap after I had a Christmas chocolate and she says "mommy, your breath smells like chocolate" ummm, yeah it sure does. we got her an ice cream tooth brush that vibrates and now she wants to have a "doctor look at my teeth".

She often wakes Kalista up with "hey cutie patootie..." except its not quite that clear. She just pointed to Kalista's picture and said "awwww, that is CUTE, she is so cute!" obviously she is imitating us. though when she puts on a dress she likes to pronounce "I so pretty!" For the most part she is very gentle with Kalista, though she does have her moments. Yesterday Kali was sitting on my lap and Kiera was on the other side and Kali kicked, which she is apt to do as a baby and Kiera said "be GENTLE with me Kawi! no KICKING! we dont HIT in our house!" it was totally funny.
I will download our recent photos, I do have a video I can't post because she is clothingless (as she loves to be), but its with Doug throwing her in the air by her ankles toward the ceiling. and she demands to go over and over and over again. Doug gets too tired to keep up!

Kalista is also saying "dada" quite clearly now. The other morning he was getting ready for work and she was very awake (as she loves to be at 5am) and saw him and said "DADA!" of course, Doug was very pleased. She sits up really well, which is great and is still working on crawling forwards. I am looking forward to that, though not really , because at least right now I can convince her to stay in bed for a bit longer with me :)

Kiera's trip to memeres house

2006-12-03T11:20:00.000-08:00

A Customer Complaint About Adelphia

2006-12-02T18:07:00.000-08:00

I heard this can be damaging for them, so I am gonna do it as my own little revenge.

Okay so, in August we bought this commercial property. part of dealing with it is changing the account to be sent to our address, as we supply the cable. so I called I think 3 times to get someone on the phone who would deal with me trying to change the name and address so we could send them their money. No one can help me apparently over the phone. I leave like 3 messages. then, we get a disconnecting guy showing up at the property. dh heads down in person to deal with it. they tell him they can ONLY help him because it is on a disconnection notice. we leave a message that we would like to start internet service there for our manager. no one ever calls us back.

fast forward two months. 3 weeks ago someone climbed our poll outside our house and messes with something. I don't know what they mess with, but we are out of internet service and out of a phone. dh is gone for the whole week. the only thing that gets me through the week is my new cell phone that I just got. so I call Adelphia and *I* have to schedule service to my house for their mistake. This is Monday morning by now and I have been out of service because of their mistake now for 1.5 days. The soonest they can come is Wednesday. annoying, but whatever. I am quite irritated so I call Qwest as a backup. Qwest can come out Thursday, I decide to view it as my backup plan.
Wednesday comes. I sit by my cell phone all day. it never rings. check my messages. check my home phone messages, nothing. I call them that afternoon around 2 inquiring as to where the cable dude is. (oh I should mention that there was an Adelphia guy in my area on Monday, I talked to him, but he wasn't there to fix their problem). they said that they called the number and no one answered they never sent the truck and would I like to reschedule? I was SO ticked at this point. I said "no, I have given you enough of a chance to fix your own mistakes I am DONE" I should also mention that when I called Adelphia, in spite of my dh's SUPER long conversation with them, THEY HAD NO RECORD THAT ANYTHING WAS WRONG WITH OUR SERVICE. I called them again and told them my service was done and I needed to be credited for their stupidity.

NOW this is where it gets just STOOPID. For some odd reason our personal cable bill was sent to our commercial property I have NO IDEA how that happened, as we had never had a conversation even CHANGING it to that address. so I tell them it needs to be sent to our house, oh and by the way, sending THAT account to our house would also be GREAT. and JUST LIKE THAT the guy changes the information in the system to reflect OUR address, instead of the previous address where it was getting sent and not getting paid. so today our bill arrives, threatening to cut off service, blah blah blah. I call them again to make sure there are NO late fees as its their idiocy that caused them to not be paid in the first place.

what really gets me about the whole thing is that I WAS TRYING TO GIVE THEM MONEY AND THEY WERENT MAKING IT EASY.

A few stories

2006-12-01T08:18:00.000-08:00

The other day Kiera announced she was going to memeres. She picked up her teddy bear and the cutlery holder and boarded her fire truck toy. she pushed her way around the living room. she made her way into the toy room and got off the fire truck and got onto the plane. She boarded her luggage and starting "flying". then she got off the plane to "fix it". I asked her what she was doing "fixing the plane mommy..." duh. right then her cutlery holder fell off the plane and she said "oh no! my suitcase!!" it was totally hilarious. in fact I even took pictures, though I need to download them.

Kiera often speaks of wanting to visit grandma and memere. She wants to "go on a plane" and "go see grandma" and when she talks to them she says "I want to come see you grandma..." :( its kind of sad we live so far away. I am hoping for a January visit.

Kalista I think is also saying HI! This morning I said HI to her and she said HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH kind of sound, to which I enthuastically replyed HI again right back. its great to encourage them as much as possible.

Kiera also likes to pray every night before bed. On her list of people and things to pray for: Bentley, Kassie (my parents dog), memere, Tiegh, Grandma, Grandpa, Nana and Grandad and depending on who is with her mommy or daddy. we remind her to pray for Kalista too! Lol. she also likes to pray to Jesus about any boo boo she has had in recent memory. She is also good at reminding us to pray for dinner every night if Doug and I forget.

Everything is a bit up in the air as to what is going on around here. BUT it does look like a solid go about building the house! I am totally excited about that. there is SO MUCH to do and to chose though!

Christmas is quickly approaching and Kiera is getting pretty excited. I think this weekend we are going to set up the tree as I have cleared the space in my living room for it. I also got rid of a bunch more stuff. I feel like setting fire to my room or something. sigh.

Christmas pics!

2006-11-21T10:34:00.000-08:00

Our Little Monkey

2006-11-21T10:32:00.000-08:00

This wasn't actually Halloween...but close enough :)

Permissive vs Punitive

2006-11-08T09:57:00.000-08:00

Okay, I am venturing to blog here again a bit about parenting. then I will shut up. maybe.

When I say "gentle" I think to most people that means "being nice all the time". no, its not what it means. Children are going to react to boundaries no matter how "nicely" they are put. I do not expect Kiera to not be angry or frustrated when I set a boundary about something. As the adult and the mommy its my responsibility to be a) bigger than her feelings and b) not react to them in an inappropriate manner.
Little children are people. They are just small. They do have the same feelings we do, but they are unable to express them. So I will give words to Kiera and Kalista's feelings until they are able to do it themselves. I will do that so that when they are older they will *always* own their own feelings and not put the blame on someone else for feeling *angry* or sad or whatever. I think its really easy for me to say "you are making me angry", now I have switched and said "I feel really angry when you do _____"

Also, as my friend Joanne puts it, don't be afraid to be a hardass mom. I like to give Kiera choices when its appropriate and sometimes I mess up and give her too much choice when she can't handle it. Usually this is when she is very tired and is having a meltdown. But when something *isn't* optional, I try and make sure I phrase it that way. If I ask Kiera to please entertain her sister while I am cooking, if I have added "please", it makes it optional. I consider entertaining her sister something she is not obligated to do, because she isn't the mommy. But if she *wants* to help me, I would really appreciate it. and I tell her that I appreciate her helpfulness.
her carseat is *not* optional. so I would say "do you want to get into the carseat yourself or should I help you?" usually she wants to be ms independence and will do it herself, but other times she does need my help. the great thing about the car seat is that its self correcting, she can't get out once she gets in. lol.
I do know what the difference is between permissive and punitive. and I do think punitive measures *can* work, but I have a moral problem with them. being the center of punitive and permissive is what I strive for. I want to teach without punishment. If you make someone feel bad, they are going to act bad :( That is also why punitive parenting is cylical. what you focus on, you get more of. I like to focus on Kiera when she is cooperative and tell her so. She *likes* to cooperate, but sometimes she doesn't. I try and always make sure that my love for her is seperate from how she pleases me because I really don't want her to equate the two.

I also do a lot of hands on parenting, "physical" parenting is what I call it with Kiera. When I ask her to do something and she doesn't do it, I don't sit there and obsess over the fact that she isn't obeying me. I assign positive intent and tell myself that perhaps she would *like* to be doing what I am asking her to do, but she is unable to stop herself or make herself or whatever. Its *my* job to set her up for success as much as possible. I don't want to set traps for her (like have stuff she can't touch be within her reach for instance) and expect her to comply. Someday she *will* have impulse control and if she is around things that she can't touch, its up to me to help her stay away from them. Its called Get Off Your Butt Parenting. and don't let anyone tell you that its not a lot of work, because it is. I have to help Kiera often to comply to what I am asking her. But I do not add punishment to the process. I don't add extra to my words because I don't feel like I can take my frustration out on her because *I* am angry. I too need to own my own anger and deal with it constructively. My words also have to mean something. I need to watch myself constantly to make sure I am not repeating myself when I have asked her to do something. Or I have told her something is the last time she is allowed to do something. I have to be consistent enough so that she *knows* I mean business when I say "this is the last book tonight" or whatever.
Questions anyone?

Busy time for all

2006-11-06T10:22:00.000-08:00

We just returned home from our trip to see our family in Canada and we had a great time. We had Halloween Canadian style (meaning COMPLETELY FREEZING) and when we got home my CAMERA is finally back from the shop. phew!
I will post pics of Kiera in her costume later. I think I left Kalistas hat there so it will just be the Chili pepper costume.

SO the BIG NEWS. Kalista has taken some HUGE developmental leaps this past week. When we were at my parents she was officially sitting up by herself, quite steady. She was also developing seperation anxiety and started to cry for me when I was not around and SAY "mama mamamamama" soo cute. AND she is CRAWLING. *gasp* *shock* okay, its not forward crawling, but backwards crawling. I can't believe it. she started yesterday. its pretty early, like 2 months early, but she is doing it.

Kiera's vocabulary has grown leaps and bounds since even August. its crazy how much she is talking. I am quite happy to be able to so clearly communicate with ms cutie pants.

not much else going on here. I am starting to prepare for our Thanksgiving, we are going to have some friends, probably an international student or two, and maybe some crew from Doug's airline. I also anticipate purchasing some decor for the Christmas season as this will be our first year in our little house with our little family :) I am really looking forward to it.

A new family tradition

2006-10-18T18:51:00.000-07:00

Before I get shot, in my defense, the camera is currently being repaired. so I havne't been taking pictures.

BUT I do have a few stories. First of all tonight I decided to borrow from my friend Amanda and what she does with her kids. Tonight as I was putting her to bed I asked her what her favourite thing was of the day. She told me "the balcony" I can only assume she meant that she was happy because I let her go outside buck naked onto the balcony covered with snow for about 5 seconds. apparently that is the epitome of excitment when you are 2. Her worst part of the day was when she fell and got a big fat huge lip with a scrape on her chin. she is very bummed about her boo boo. So after we decided to pray to Jesus and ask him to help her feel better.

I also wanted to mention that she gave us breakfast in bed the other day. Daddy asked her to get us some yogurt so sure enough she went downstairs, grabbed 3 yogurts, grabbed 2 spoons our size and 1 her size and dragged them back up the stairs. it was SOOOO cute, she was determined. she is such a sweetie.
Kalista is getting frustrated that she can't sit up and be a part of the action. she hollers if someone isn't holding her and there is a lot of movement. so she is in arms a lot. but she can almost sit up on her own and wakes up WAY to early where I just hand her a toy and fall back asleep. sorry baby, but I just don't DO 500am...YAWN. babies are so much work.....

brownies....hmmmmmmmmmmmm

2006-09-15T12:02:00.001-07:00

Before I get shot....:)

2006-09-15T11:48:00.000-07:00

"Kawie dancing mummy", Kiera's Eve Pic, Auntie Ro and Kiera, Uncle Ryan, and a picture Kiera took of Kalista

Its been a while. sorry. the short story is we now have a computer downstairs, but the upstairs is the one I download pictures to. Generally its easier to be downstairs because that is where the kiddos are. but here I am, during naptime, avoiding execution.

Hanging around at home...

2006-08-15T19:45:00.000-07:00

I usually take a day or two to recover from a trip. We haven't done much since getting home, which is nice. We are taking off for Japan on Saturday, so downtime is good.

Today Kiera was super cute at bedtime. I sat down to read her her two bedtime stories and she insisted on holding Kalista's hand the whole time, it was so cute.

She also gave Kalista her dolly which I took some pics of in the swing.

A busy weekend, another wedding...

2006-08-15T19:26:00.000-07:00

This was Kiera's first ride on the Brasilia (which I am sure I am spelling wrong), its loud and her ears hurt more than usual. Kalista fell asleep with her daddy. We hit turbulence, and Kiera, my little adreniline junkie daughter, was like "wow! again mommy!" and was jumping in her seat intentionally.

We arrived in Portland after a stop off in Medford for 3 1/2 hours. we ended up taking a hotel shuttle to a restaurant because there was no food in the airport. it was goofy. but we had a good time and there was a bird nesting in the awning that Kiera thought was pretty cool.
We stayed at Doug's brother, Cami's and his new wife Deidre. and the idiot that I am forgot to take pictures. :P
We went to the wedding Saturday and the girls were in matching dresses and guess what?! I forgot to take a picture of that too! doh!
It was my good friend Christine whom I have known since high school. Kiera was asking me if there was going to be dancing, I told her no, but at the party it didn't stop her. they had some music playing and she danced away. The whole day we told her she was getting cake. She certainly didn't forget. it was the very last thing that she got in fact, it was pretty funny to watch. "cake Cwwistine, cake..."

Kiera's big owwie

2006-08-04T16:54:00.000-07:00

I think she bit right through her lip :(

Her jacket

2006-08-03T19:26:00.000-07:00

it was raining yesterday "waining mommy, its waining". she wanted to go onto the balcony. Her jacket was in daddies care which was at work. "daddy's work mommy?" "I work mommy?" (points at self when I tell her that she is mommys work). well she marched downstairs and demanded this jacket. this is her winter jacket that never got put away for 6-12 months. you can sure tell. she was insistent that the hood go over her head too. she is such a goof.
Oh yeah, Kalista is now 13lbs 5oz.

sisters...ya think?

2006-08-02T10:17:00.000-07:00

Daddy put her to bed....they both fell asleep :)

2006-07-28T20:27:00.000-07:00

Wilbur Fountain Downtown....no pics of her looking

Pictures Kiera took

2006-07-27T07:47:00.000-07:00

Bathtime!

2006-07-27T07:18:00.000-07:00

A picture for "bump bump"AKA grandpa

Potty Training, Mommy style

2006-07-25T16:41:00.000-07:00

I have always had a pretty relaxed view of potty training or learning as some call it. Kiera has been showing signs, but I have never wanted to push her because of the immense changes going on in our house.
but today the coolest thing happened: she said "mommy, I need to potty." so I ran her to the toilet, put her on and she did her business!! WHA HOO!!! a couple of days ago she had started to pee and I told her she needed to do that on the toilet (shes been in panties or pull ups mostly) and she stopped and finished on the toilet.

I am so happy because I haven't been pushing her to do something she is not ready to do and I am not going to keep pushing her. I am telling her that to wear panties she must go in the potty, and she is really starting to hate her diaper. But so far she has pretty much been training herself! I am totally happy because this is how I wanted potty training to happen. when they are ready they just DO IT.
wha hoo!

yes I do think its slightly hysterical that I am blogging about PTing, but just wait till you all are parents ;)

Kiera's first ALLOWED Ponytail

2006-07-23T14:28:00.000-07:00

Which she calls "tonys", which is super cute. also a pic of her sharing her blankie with the baby and a big huge grin, too cute not to post.

Feminist Super Mommy

2006-07-20T12:57:00.000-07:00

Is what I have been accused of by certain parties ;)
I realise that I kind of have a bit of paranioa about raising my two kids. I think its because when I decide to care about something, I REALLY decide to care about something. Like breastfeeding right? I am sure most of you could care less about my thoughts on breastfeeding, but since its important to me, I will talk about it. I am considering starting a personal blog though, so maybe I will stop ranting here...maybe :)

First of all, just FTR, I don't really see any contradiction between my feministic tendencies and my mothering self. In fact, I see it as quite empowering to one another. why? well I have two girls that I am raising. that means I am going to raise them to be strong and assertive and to not defer to men because they are men. I think my mother did this by default because she is a strong personality and I think I also have a rather large genetic component as well. not rudely, not with an attitude, but because they will have clear internal boundaries which I plan on respecting.

I have embraced grace based discipline or postive discipline with no Christian spin. I am aware that they are many Christians out there who insist that to discipline your child, you must spank. I have a friend that wrote "Biblical Parenting". its a great book. it studies the "rod" verse which is so famous amongst those that promote spanking. Basically the verse is talking about an older child, like 20ish, who is literally getting beaten with a very large ROD. I somehow don't see this as applying it to toddlers. that is the very short version.

my other question is also simple, could you ever see Jesus hit a child? I really really really can't. no matter what your belief about Jesus, I don't think He was one to hit a child. in fact, He said stuff along the things of "if you hurt these children, you should have a millstone hung around your neck and be sunk to the bottom of the ocean." I like to think that He was thinking of sex offenders when He said that, but I am sure there are other less terrible things that could also apply to this situation.

I also believe my parenting style will directly affect how my children percieve God. Will they think of Him as some giant patriarch in the sky? Will they think of some Santa Claus? what will they think?
I can think of God as someone who cares about us deeply. cares about our dogs and our plumbing problems. "His eye is on ths sparrow" "If Solomon, in all his splendour did not look as beautiful as lilies of the field, then why do you worry about tomorrow? Your heavenly Father SEES you and knows you and what you need." Total paraphrase from somewhere in Matthew.
I don't believe God punishes us. Ever. If you look into the stories of the OT, He always made a way for His people. Always. He wasn't exactly thrilled with those who opposed His people, but He NEVER punished His own. Whatever wrong we have done or will done is paid for, its done, its past and we live in GRACE. Grace that God extends to us every single day. I only extend the same grace to my children by not making them pay for something that has all ready been paid for, be it "sinful" or whatever.
Punishment, which I include spanking in here, though its somewhat of a minor issue in some regards, is generally done to appease the adults anger or embarassment. I have said this before, but when I am MOST itching to smack Kiera's little bum, its when I am angry. I know that there is also this "ritualistic" type spanking that I find actually quite disgusting. you aren't "suppose" to be angry and you are suppose to do this big flaky speech "this hurts you more than it hurts me..." and then you hit the child. if you look into this history, it actually is a carry over from Victorian times and a bit of S & M. So I definitely avoid spanking ritualistically, but I also REALLY want to avoid smacking her because I am ticked. (which, confession time, I have done a couple of times when Kiera has STEPPED on her sister). but again, I don't see the point in teaching her not to hit by hitting her. I felt REALLY bad afterwards, because I let my anger control the situation. my anger controlled me, I didn't control my anger. not cool. I am the adult in this situation, not her.
I want to and will continue to parent in the paradigm of being on the same team as my daughter. I am not her advesary, I am not her police woman who tries to keep her under lock and key. But I will allow for her feelings, she is allowed to be angry, to be happy, whatever. Think of it this way, if you were upset about something how would you feel if I told you you needed to get over it? or I didn't really care that you were upset, I just didn't want to hear you crying anymore? A much better way to change the situation is just to acknowledge the feelings she is having, anger, sadness, embarassment, etc, and finish them off. I am okay with feelings. some people aren't. she will learn to understand her feelings, express them in a healthy manner. This is where she will learn to be assertive and know herself and her boundaries. which also leads me to the next thing. If I ever see you, I will never force my children to hug you. if they aren't comfortable hugging you, well that is their perogative. If I do that to them, its basically telling them that their personal space does not matter, and if they believe that, even if its something as benign as a hug, they could be taken advantage of by a trusting adult later if they truly don't believe their bodies are their own. does that make sense? I usually ask Kiera if I can have a hug, most of the time she is more than willing to give me one, but if she is not, then I always respect her wishes. When she is done, she is done. Just because I am bigger than her does not mean that I do not respect her space and her person.
I was spanked as a child. A lot of people say "well I was, and I lived so what is the big deal?" I did live. I know my parents got a lot of flak because they wracked their brains trying to think of ways to parent ME that was different from what they both grew up with. The fact is, my grandparents didn't exactly have a lot of tools in their parent toolbox to parent their 6 or 8 children. it was more about survival and running a farm.(sorry grandma's)
I know in so many ways I am a classic product of a tech, post industrial society where children are no longer assets, but liabilites in an economic sense. because I am just not going to have as many, I want to do well with the ones I have.

Duck and Cover

2006-07-19T12:29:00.000-07:00

A funny I forgot to mention while Kim was here. we went to the local ice cream social a few blocks away. while we were there it started raining. we had brought the stroller, but nothing else to protect Kiera. she didn't care. she was completely intent on going to the swingset with or without me. so to run there she literally ducked down at her waist to "sneak" away, got to the edge of the covered thing we were underneath and took off to the park where she proceeded to get pretty darn wet. I think she really thought we couldn't see her. silly girl.
pretty hiliarous I think.
She is also asking to be "burped" . "mommy, burp? burp mommy?" I oblige of course because I know she is just asking for a hug. but I do pat her back. she likes to "help" me burp the baby.

"Kawwie"

2006-07-18T19:39:00.000-07:00

Kiera can't say the L in Kallie, so that is what she is calling her. that and baby of course. the other day she was trying really hard to get Kalie to take a binky to no avail.

Other amusing stories: She was in her high chair the other day and starting yelling at Bentley who was begging in the very polite way he begs. I couldn't figure out what she was saying for a couple moments but then I did..."SIT DOWN BENTLEY SIT DOWN", he was all ready laying down so she gave him something.

We also walked by Christa's thank you card on the mantel, she said "who's that?" I said "auntie Christa" and she said "Dance!" LOL!

Kalista is smiling and cooing and in general being an adorable baby self. now Kiera has caught the cold that all of us have had. it really stinks. maybe its worse this time. all I know is that colds really stink for all involved.

Daddies girls and a "new" bike

2006-07-18T19:37:00.000-07:00

Singing in the Rain...

2006-07-18T19:34:00.000-07:00

More auntie Kimmie playing guitar

2006-07-18T19:29:00.000-07:00

Auntie Kimmie

2006-07-15T15:29:00.000-07:00

me at six weeks and Kalista at 6 weeks

2006-07-09T19:56:00.000-07:00

What she is doing now

2006-07-08T11:51:00.000-07:00

Kalista is now starting to coo and smile hugely at you. AND she is really strong with her neck and legs. unfortunately, she got Kiera's cold :(

The pics, you can click on them to get them larger

2006-07-08T11:35:00.000-07:00

Other Family reunion

2006-07-08T11:29:00.000-07:00

This was totally fun. we slept in a tent, which went pretty well even though it took Kiera a night to figure out that yes, we were sleeping on the ground and yes its a bit chilly and you need to cuddle with mommy. Kalista did great. I don't think she even noticed. Kiera did have a cold. but we sure had FUN. Her closest girl cousin is ironically Colettes youngest brothers daughter. when they first "met" (as they have met before but never noticed) they were showing each other their panties by lifting up their dresses. crack me up!

Grandmemere had a camper which Kiera called "memeres house". after the beach, we went there to get her cleaned up. she sat on the bench at the table, had a bit of cookie, a bit of bun and promptly fell asleep on the bench for an hour! she was obviously BEAT.

I also managed to get in a visit to two internet friends that I was really happy to get to meet. I will also post their kids too. and I got to see my best friend and my grandparents. it was busy. that was why Kiera slept from 330pm until 730AM the night we got home!! and she is still catching up.
Kim arrived yesterday and so far the weather has been crap. Tomorrow we are going to try and hit some touristy stuff.

Family Reunion X2

2006-07-08T10:30:00.000-07:00

I haven't seen my brothers children in ages. they are moving quite far east. so I decided it was a must to see them again before they left and I see them God knows when. these are some fun pics. The kids are 7, 5, 3, and almost 2. they are all about 22 months apart.

I only got to hang out for about 2 hours, but the kids managed to have lots of fun.

A long journey

2006-07-08T10:16:00.000-07:00

Me with bride and groom not looking to snazy:
and Kiera doing her chicken dance

okay, not that long.
we left last Wednesday and got back Thursday. it was loads of fun though.

first off, before I forget. doh! I did go to a wedding for my cousin in Phoenix the beginning of June. it was totally fun. it was SUPER DUPER hot, apparently record breaking, but we all survived and Kiera had a great time. she was actually pretty funny because when we got to the reception she was the first on the dance floor. I realised there is even a picture of her DANCING in the background while Christa and Johnny had their first dance. oops. but she was quite insistent that we all dance "mummy dance? daddy dance?" she does this hilarious chicken dance like that that makes me crack up.

Protecting the Gift

2006-06-28T07:50:00.000-07:00

by Gavin De Becker. I have heard a lot about this book from other mothers who had read it and highly recommended it. When I started reading it I realised I had seen him on Oprah before discussing his last book "The gift of fear".
the book is primarily targeted toward mothers and how to protect our children. He has stories in there of women who fought off attackers and all of the things that ran through their head before, during and after the incident. What he did make me feel was confident that I could beat the crap out of anyone who tried to hurt me or my children with my children present. Especially with my children present.
At the beginning of the book he discusses intiution. that "gut" feeling that we all get from some people we meet on the street. the feeling that tells us they may be dangerous people. and how often we disregard and rationalize away that feeling because its not polite. take getting on an elevator for instance, say the doors open and you see a person whom immediately you do not get a good feeling from, your first instinct is to not get on the elevator. but what do you do? you rationalize away these thoughts, tell yourself it would not be polite and get on a steel framed box with a potentially very dangerous person. Dogs at least follow their intitution. you know those dogs that freak out when they know a person is bad? It makes me appreciate Bentley's mostly misplaced passion about delivery men. but I do realise now that its very likely that Bentley *would* act on my behalf if a situation arouse where I needed it.

He gets into very practical matters on protecting our children. like protecting them from sexual predators. He has a whole chapter on it. and talking to people I realise there is still such an epidemic of silence within families and churches.
Take for instance my story. My story who is so many others stories. There was a pedophile within our denomination as a child who called himself a minister to children and a missionary. He had a mobile home he drove around north America, literally. When I was 9 he came to my parents house to see them, he had been a long time family friend to both of my grandparents. He asked if me and my brother could stay with him in his mobile home, my parents, though they did have niggling doubt, conceded and with great excitement I stayed with him in his camper. The rest I am sure you can fill in with your imagination. it was not *that bad*, though definitely traumatic for me, enough that I blocked it out for about 3 years.

The reason I tell this story is because surrouding him there was an epidemic of silence. there were rumours, stories, "maybes" about who he was as a person, but you know children, they make stuff up. and you know, he is a minister.
My own mother disregarded her intiution because she rationalised away her gut feeling. And no, I have absolutely zero anger toward my parents for this. I don't consider that their fault, because even though it happened AFTER the fact they acknowledged my trauma and supported me through the fallout. A lot of families do not do this. They tell the child the feelings they have are not important and irrelevant, and if you would just ignore the problem it would go away. Well it doesn't/didn't and my parents helped me through it. I know it was extremely difficult for both of them, but how do you think I know that my mother had heard rumours? or that she had a gut feeling she rationalised? because we talked about, which is more than happens to a lot of victims.

But this epidemic of silence from those who knew had far reaching consequences. This man was in his 70's. he had travelled for years. He was finally caught when I was 13. they say that before a pedophile is caught, he will have likely molested between 30-60 children. I am willing to bet his number was astronomically higher. and this was because he had a position of trust and NO ONE TOLD. Until he finally RAPED a 9 year old girl and she WAS NOT silent.

We have an obligation to protect our children. As I read this book, filled with other tales of abuse to children, trying to fathom how ANYONE could hurt a child, I was also filled with the thought "not on my watch". not on my watch will either of my daughters be subjected to physical or sexual abuse. I will follow my gut, my intiution and I will be a very proactive parent. Between the ages of 13-18 is when my daughters are most at risk for being raped. I am goign to teach them that NO is a full sentence. That they do not have to be polite to someone just because he is a man (which is what women are taught) This will always be in my mind, whether at the forefront or not, when raising these precious human beings. I will listen to my intiution when something does not feel right. I know that I cannot control human behaviour, but God gave us these signals for a reason. I am going to do everything within my power to protect my children from the dangers that I know.
and if God forbid, something should happen, I will not deny or pretend what happened to them did not happen. I will acknowledge it and pursue whatever means I need to to get justice for my daughter. Be afraid, be very afraid of me if you hurt my children. (no, I won't hunt you down and kill you, not the hunting part anyway)
The book also has other stories about severely abused children. There was even a story of a 6 week old being tortured by her father. a 2 year old by its mother. it was sickening to read for me. I don't know if its just that I have a real soft heart, but the thought of it makes me physically ill. maybe its because I had a 6 week old laying next to me sleeping soundly, trusting her mother would not hurt her or even think of it. and I couldn't. The father of the 6 week old went onto confess that he had also killed his stepson who had been misdiagnosed as having SIDS. its unbelievable to me what society does to the smallest members. and how we can sit by and do nothing. so yes, I am on the side of the fence that says that goverment interference is more than welcome. families are not so sacred that they should be kept together at all costs. children are most likely to be abused before the age of 5. that would be me hurting my daughter deliberately. this I cannot imagine.

One of the reasons I don't spank is because of myself. I don't spank because I know how angry that I can get. If I start hitting my child out of frustration, I could hit her a lot harder then I should and if I am really angry, hit her for too long. This decision to not spank is for her own protection and mine. According to prospanking books, you are only suppose to hit your child when you are calm. That is the biggest crock I have ever heard. when I have any inkling to hit my daughter its when I am most frustrated with some behaviour she keeps doing over and over. Unless I became a regular hitter/spanker, I cannot imagine getting to that point. though I know its possible as other parents have attested.

Anyway. these are my thoughts. if you have children in your life, even if you are not a parent, its a very good book. I am very pleased that I read it.

Daddy cutting cord and new baby

2006-06-21T19:11:00.000-07:00

I just realised I used the wrong "edition"

2006-06-19T13:25:00.000-07:00

I am such a dork.
its ADDITION.
I know this.
I will claim sleep deprivation.
doh!

Our "chunker"

2006-06-18T19:39:00.000-07:00

Kalista is now 10'9. that means she gained 25 oz in 22 days. wow. I make cream apparently :) Kiera heard me call her a chunker and now she does too "chunker mommy, chunker??"
she is now 5 weeks, which is the most recent picture and you can see her great big cheeks. she is just staring to smile at me and coo. she gave Kiera a big huge grin today, which I know scored some mega points on the little sister scale.

She has also taken to asking about EVERYONE who has come to see us. "where's nana? where's mere? where's gama? where's bump bump? where's dad? where's mo? swim? can we go swim with gama?" I told her they all had to go home. most of the time she finishes my sentence for me. but she keeps asking to be sure.
She has also figured out everyone was born at some point. "the baby was born? I born? mummy born? daddy born? bubbee born?"

I think we escaped baby acne this time around. maybe. I may speak too soon.

today I went through the drive through. it took FOREVER. I had just fed Kallie, but she started screeching in the back seat. so I took her out and started feeding her while waiting for the food. got to the window. the lady was so flustered, obviously, she forgot all of my cutlery and napkins. ummm, yeah. I guess breastfeeding at a pull up window is really wierd.
no I did not do Britney Spears, I pulled into the next spot while she ate.

2006-06-18T19:11:00.000-07:00

2006-06-18T19:09:00.000-07:00

Chosing Second Best

2006-06-14T20:24:00.000-07:00

Among other things.

the language around breastfeeding needs to change. when you chose to formula feed, you are chosing the second best by a long shot. the research is so clear.

There is an article called "Breastfeed or Else" that discusses putting warning labels on formula like they do on cigarettes. the research of the past 25 years has shown in numerous study bfing is FAR superiour to formula. so when you CHOSE to ff, then you are CHOSING second best for your child.
Babies were born to be breastfed.
and it costs me money.
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/13/health/13brea.html

In the Car in hot hot Phoenix and Kallie on the couch

2006-06-11T14:04:00.000-07:00

Daddy's girl

2006-05-24T21:14:00.000-07:00

found her thumb at 1 day old

2006-05-24T21:13:00.000-07:00

Big Sister

2006-05-21T20:27:00.000-07:00

Our New Edition

2006-05-21T20:23:00.000-07:00

Cute sister story

2006-05-21T20:12:00.000-07:00

I put the baby down on the Elmo Bed and ran into the other room to grab the comforter for Kiera's "new" bed. As soon as I came back, Kiera had grabbed a book and was "reading" it to her sister. soooooooo cute :)

When we asked her if she wanted to hold the baby, she was DELIGHTED and grinned hugely the entire time. She was also quite insistent that "the baby" go into her "stroller", which is designed for dolls and is quite small. so far so good. she also talks a lot about making sure the baby gets "mommy milk" when she cries. because Kiera makes sure I know when "baby cries, baby cries..."

Kalista Nicole

2006-05-19T09:57:00.000-07:00

Was born on Saturday, May 13th, at 12:29pm into her daddies hands. well almost. he was too chicken to actually catch her as she was making her appearance.
the birth went great. went into labour on Friday, though I wasn't *sure* if it was real labour or not, me and my irritable uterus contracting all the stinking time and I told Doug he was "allowed" to go on an overnight to Great Falls. doh. Tried to go to bed at 11pm, but the contractions were much too strong to sleep. called midwife, took bath, didn't go away, getting more painful and longer. so everyone came over at about 330AM. That included my midwife, my friend Amanda and my doula. Kiera woke up to see what was going on and stayed up for about 2 hours. we got the pool going, but we had to do it manually because Doug hadn't taken care of the one small detail (making sure I had the hose was available!) I needed him to do! granted, he was suppose to be there, soooooooooooo........... what can you do?
I started to space out a bit with my contractions around 5 and I took some black cohash and all of the sudden I was contracting very quickly. I was at 5cm dilated by about 6am, so now I was "officially" in labour. I did lots of work in that short period of time. between 7-8 am I hit transition, which was actually pretty easy for me. compared to what I went through with Kiera, these contractions were a walk in the park.
at 1030 I started pushing and because I was like 9cm, the midwife did the last little lip of cervix out of the way. it HURT HURT HURT. anyway, I was in the pool, started there, and changed positions about a million times to get her down. daddy arrived at 1130 after driving like a maniac from where he landed. so he helped me with some labour support to.
I really believed she was NEVER going to come, but alas she did come. she was large, which was to be expected, almost 9 lbs, the midwife thought she was. we weighed her after a couple of hours and she was 8 '12. she also had a huge head, which is one reason why it took so long to get her OUT!, it was 14.5 inches and she was cocked slightly to the side which made her head even larger. I am sure I would have ended up with a section if I was in the hospital because I had to change positions so many times its unlikely they would have had the patience, or for that matter the expertise to get her out the way she was suppose to come.

she is super cute. we love her all ready. so does Kiera.

No, she is not here yet

2006-05-11T08:06:00.000-07:00

and apparently I am getting snarky about it.
only because EVERYONE is calling me. like EVERYOne. trust me, I will TELL YOU if I've had the baby. I will let you know. in fact, I will get Doug to post on here AS SOON as it happens, that way you will all know.
I left a message on our answering machine that Doug wants me to change because that is what I said "no, I haven't had the baby and I'll let you know when I do." I guess I was snarky. well whatever. I feel entitled to be snarky. I really want this kid to GET OUT. GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT. I am sick of having my insides used as a trampoline!!!! I am sick of being tired all the time (although that isn't gonna change much) and I am sick of wondering if every contraction is MAYBE THIS IS IT.
and you know what really really really stinks? that Kiera has taken to sleeping in until around 8am at least again. isn't that GLORIOUS?! except that this new baby is going to mess all that up and I won't have any 8am's at all. how completely depressing. the newborn stage is SOOOOOOOO HARD. I am so not excited about it.
I also want her to come because I have a wedding to go to and I want to be in somewhat decent shape. if she comes this weekend, it only gives me 3 weeks to shapeup. I think I am a bit insane for going. but its my BEST cousin, so I want to be there real bad.
*sigh* help me keep my sanity for this last remaining time.

She's 2!

2006-05-04T12:57:00.000-07:00

Which I can't believe! this morning started out a bit rough because daddy had to get up at 6am to go to work for another very long day, for the 4th day in a row. it stinks because all week he has been gone and she misses him. we got up to say goodbye to him and she had a good cry when he left. we gave her her Elmo card, which of course she loved.
My chiro is saying 3 days I have left. we will see. I will believe it when I start labour and it DOESNT STOP!! apparently I have a "irritable uterus". funny.

we also got a new camera. wha hoo! I am so excited. it has movie mode with sound and everything. so I have taped her "singing" her Abc's and "twinkle twinkle" to the best of her ability.

I am beat and so is Doug. I am not really sure who is entitled to sleep in more at this point. I am going to be pushing out a baby here soon and I would like to be rested. but OTOH, he has worked long days. its just been exhausting for us both. *sigh*. this is when you wish grandparents were a bit closer.

She really is my favourite person

2006-05-01T16:07:00.000-07:00

She is just SO DARN CUTE! I mean, what can I say? she has turned into such a little *person*, which sounds kind of goofy, but seriously.........

Today I handed her the phone and told her to phone whoever she'd like. I told her she could phone cookie monster if she really wanted. well she picks up the phone and says "cookie?" and talks for a bit about things I don't understand. then she hands the phone to me and I have a chit chat with cookie about the letter of the day.

She also does this hilarious thing in the car where she informs Doug and I that we are not "allowed" to dance if we move at all. apparently, we must be really embarassing. she says "NO DANCE DADDY! or NO DANCE MOMMY!" and gets quite cheesed about it if we DO dance.

This weekend she learned "twinkle twinkle little star", which Doug and I sang to her and she tried her best to sing with it and raise her hands in the air and "twinkle" them. then we sang our ABC's, which she tried her very best to do, and got every 10th letter or so. but she does this dance swaying thing from side to side and sometimes includes her head. its so cute.

Yesterday I told her grandpa and grandma were coming, who she hasn't seen for months and she runs to the window. to her disappointment they weren't there and she actually got pretty upset with me. then I felt bad because she doesn't grasp the concept of time and when they are coming.

this baby is suppose to come this week if my neurological system isn't lying, if it is, then who knows. I am suppose to have a belly cast on Wednesday, which reminds me that I need to find someone to watch her for a couple of hours.

nothing else new around here. I am just having lots of fun the last few days its just Kiera and I. and kind of sad about it. she is so fun and I am going to be splitting my time between two kids. and this is SUCH a fun age. babies are so much work.......... sigh.

My ohsocrunchy self rearing its head again

2006-04-26T13:04:00.000-07:00

Its funny, because I never really considered myself very crunchy and in many ways I don't. I mean, I don't cloth diaper (yet) am not a vegatarian (likely never) and I certainly don't wear skirts all the time and no make up or something like that. (though, I do do the no make up thing quite regularly).

but since becoming a mama and actually researching stuff and stuff becoming important to me, I am becoming less mainstream that is for sure.'

so my latest conquest into research is vaccinations. now prior to this, I have done all of Kiera's vaccines on schedule. now I am kind of feeling "DOH" about it. why? well, they have this crazy schedule down here of when children are suppose to be immunized. like basically everything by the age of 2. 2 folks. yes, 2. lets pump your child full of potentially harmful crap and then lets deny any link to autism or other disorders that develop because of this crazy schedule of vaccines. because really, as the more research I have done shows, its most about the bucks. how surprising is that?!!

take for example, the Hep B vaccine. this disease is primarily an STD!! and STD and they want my TWO YEAR old to be fully immunized from it. where is the sense in that one???
The MMR....well, in case you haven't being paying attention, the Mumps has had a rather large outbreak in Iowa, and guess what? half the kids who are getting it are IMMUNIZED!! its not as if its going to kill you or something and for girls, its not really that big of a deal. it can't maim you or cause brain damage. for boys, the worst possible side effect is infertility. which I do take seriously and I would consider having it for my boy if I had one.
Then there is the one for whooping cough, pertissis or however you spell it. this has been a pretty major link between horrible reactions and children who just NEVER get over this shot and have severe developmental delays because of it.
in fact, there is a whole program of funds dedicated to children harmed by vaccines. The autism rate has SOARED in the past 20 years and yet there still seems to be a refusal of some of the medical community to call a spade a spade and admit the link between the two. this also concerns me because my nephew, cute adorable boy that he is, was exposed to this. Did it cause it? I don't know. but I really believe that my brother is taking the right route and not exposing his younger son to that crap that is in those vaccines.
I have been really lucky because Kiera appeared to have had no adverse reactions. and at this point, though I know I am delaying at minimum, its not as if I am crossing them ALL off of my list. but, the fact is, any recenty cases of polio have only been BECAUSE of the vaccine, not because they were prevented by it.
I still remember this ad"Immunize by 2, its up to you". please. packing these tiny bodies full of innoculations really just depresses me. I thought I was doing Kiera a favour when the shots were combined, but in fact they could have potentially completely overloaded her little body.

oh yeah, and another little stat that I like to think about, because I like little stats, is that Japan doesn't start any immunization until they are 2 either. and guess what their autism rate is? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.............

No I haven't had the baby

2006-04-24T16:56:00.000-07:00

I am still ticking along in my gigantic state of being. the good news is, the baby has turned and is hanging out on my left side. not completely anterior but not posterior either. but its good news.

MW came and felt around my belly. she thinks this one is about 7 lbs all ready. if I keep going at this rate, I might end up with a 9er again, but you just never know.

Kiera is talking about the baby and kissing my belly, but I still don't think she gets it. we had her party this past weekend, bc I didn't want to be 39 weeks pregnant and hosting a party :P it was an Elmo party complete with the trimmings and the cake. and I can't find our camera, so all I have is some cell phone pics from our friends camera which is better than nothing.

cute Kiera moment: we were watching TV and an ad for Pantene came on with all these women with gorgeous hair. she looks and goes "mommy hair, mommy hair" awwwwwwwwwwwwww..........how cute is that??!!!

we bought a new truck today for $350 to haul crap. I just hope it lasts us 6 months.

that is all folks. will keep you all updated as soon as this baby decides to make her appearance which could be as long as a month. I hope not.

36 weeks and 1 day

2006-04-14T11:55:00.000-07:00

That is where I am at. my MW appointment is this afternoon. I know the baby is head down (who hoo!) and my pelvis keeps getting out of place (boo)

this morning we took some pictures of my belly and some of Doug and I. we tried to coax Kiera, but she would just no cooperate in the least. which is too bad . basically she woke up early and was a mess by the time we go to the studio. I actually did my hair and my makeup! wow! incredible!

She talks about the "baby", but I don't think she gets it. she kisses my tummy every once and a while and gets very annoyed with me if we are trying to cuddle on the couch and my big belly gets in the way. she has her babies, which she treats very well by tucking them into bed, kissing them good night and making sure they are nice and warm in a blanket. sometimes she even "feeds" them from her non existance chest.

we are planning and Elmo party on the 22nd, with just a couple of families coming. I am going to be hugely pregnant and don't want to exhaust myself with a crazy party like last year. I have some supplies, though I need to order some more. Kiera saw the table cloth and went crazy with excitement about it. I truly think she will love being surrounded by her favourite character. and yes, I am going to get an ice cream cake again! hmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmm. I also think we are going to get her a tricycle for this year, we never got the kitchen we were suppose to get for Christmas. in fact, now that I think about it, I don't think we got her a thing this year! how bad is that?! well, she didn't notice. phew. hopefully this time around, we'll have some cash.

I am really hoping this baby decides to come EARLY and NOT late. but we'll see.

oh yeah, and we've decided on a name. and you'll all just have to wait to find out ;)

Why I chose a homebirth

2006-04-06T07:41:00.000-07:00

I have a few raised eyebrows of people that know I am going the home birth route considering what I went through to have Kiera. I guess I don't feel like I "gave birth" to Kiera because it ended in a horrid c/s and an extremely long recovery. why oh why would I want to potentially subject myself to another horridly long recovery with the potential of a section, again, when I can just convienantly schedule's my baby's birthday??

My list becomes longer as I do more research.
First of all, the more research I do, the more I distrust doctors in general regarding care of myself and my unborn child. not because they are "out to get me" or something, but because in general, they are taught that their patients know nothing and to treat them that way. well, I am never going into a birth like that again, and even I was not completely ignorant of the risks and interventions that can happen while trying to push a baby out into the world. OB's are taught that they must "do something", and by doing something that can consist of unnecessary interventions, like epistomies, pitocin, yada yada. and this makes a lot of women feel better that something is being "done" to get their babies out.
Fetal monitoring has been shown to be significantly less effective than actually taking the time to listen to the baby themselves, the doctor or nurse that is, to show signs of distress. they have you hooked up to a machine in the hospital that may or may not be accurate in terms of how the baby is actually doing. with my MW, she will check me every 15 minutes to make sure that the baby is doing fine throughout the labour.
Labour is really good for babies. Babies born via scheduled c/s are much more likely to have breathing problems and end up in the NICU for these problems. not only that, but if the doctor is going by an arbitrarily assigned 28 day cycle of when they child was concieved and they are WRONG, say a woman has a 38 day cycle that baby could potentially be born premature. right now I have a friend who had an ultrasound that dated her 3 weeks earlier than when she thought she had concieved. so because of this new date, the docs are likely going to cut her open earlier, lest she go into labour and inconvience them *rolling eyes*. this carries a risk of her child being premature and ending up sick. but, I will keep my mouth shut about it even though it concerns me greatly.

I think what is most relieving to me is that I don't have to worry about "fighting" with the doctors who are going to be hoovering around me, convinced that doing a VBAC is just a really stupid thing to do, and why would I not just schedule her birthday? I don't need their negative energy and I don't need to deal with that while trying to birth a child. and I sincerley did look for an OB when I first found out I was pregnant. there are no birth centers here, and so there was no "in between" that I could find, it was my house or a hospital where I all ready felt mentally defeated.
I interviewed an OB in Denver, though not the one that I wanted, and when I talked to her about my previous birth experience a little bit, I mentioned that I had spiked a fever during labour. but I had had an epidural so its hard to say that I had some kind of infection or whatever, because epi's are known to cause fevers. she was like" no they don't" and basically treated me like an idiot even though I have read over and over in different studies the link between fevers and epi's. but I guess, as patient who doesn't have MD behind her name, well I can't know anything. can you tell I am annoyed? and that is what I can't handle. a doctor treating me like an idiot because I don't have MD behind my name.
I have been a lot more proactive in this pregnancy, from getting chiro care to getting massages and trying to eat more protein this time around. I also REALLY love my midwifes care. its SO much more personal, I go to my appointment and sit there for an hour and chat about whatever, while Kiera runs around and plays with the many toys in her office. we have a RELATIONSHIP instead of being with one caregiver or another on any known day. I KNOW that she will be with me at my birth, and I am very happy about that. and yes, I get most of the standard tests, including as many ultrasounds as I want, which I have had. I get blood tests and yada yada. she isn't some woman who shows up at my birth and waves her magic wand or something.
I am planning on giving birith in water, though if that doesn't turn out, I am not to concerned. if, worst case scenario, I have to go to the hospital, I know that I have given it my absolute best shot and set myself up for success as much as possible. because I have. I have empowered myself to give birth the way that I want to, not being told how, or being made to lie flat on my back and pumped full of medicine. I know what my risks are, and by leaving the hospital setting, I have lowered them significantly. just because your baby is born in a hospital guarantees nothing. in fact, I am quite convinced my care is going to be that much greater because I am HER ONLY PATIENT!!

oh yes and just as a fan stat, almost 40% of babies born in Denmark are born at home. its completely normal. did I also mention their c/s rate is considerable lower than the US? I really don't think that 30% of babies being born today needed to be cut out of their mama's bellies. I just don't.

I also know recently of a woman who died of a c/s, because her amniotic fluid mixed with her blood and formed a clot and killed her during surgery. this happens 1 in 200000 times. the neonatal death rate for birthing at home is half of what it is for c/s, the chance of getting a post op infection is much higher for a c/s. basically, I will NEVER sign up for someone voluntarily cutting me open with that many risks. my biggest risk includes a "uterine rupture" which sounds God awful, but in fact the risks are much less that it might seem by that title. its a slow prcoess with a lot of warning ahead of time. if I need to go in, I go in. and frankly, I feel a lot more confident my MW would catch it before a doctor who has other patients to attend to, ever would.

So these are some of the few reasons I am chosing a homebirth. I am not being foolish and doing it unassisted, but wise and having some wonderful ladies around me to support me during labour. I am not too worried about the pain, because I dealt with it last time and she was in the wrong position, so it was hell. this one should be in the right position, so it should be a heckuvalot better.

any questions, go ahead and ask. this essay is also for my own clarity.

Kiera cut a rug!

2006-03-28T08:24:00.000-08:00

and sillly daddy didn't take a picture with his camera.

On Saturday night we went to an Italian restaurant that just so happened to have live music that night. it was a band called the "doo whops", and I probably spelled it wrong. anyway, they did a lot of "old music" like beach boys and "duke of earl" etc. and of course, the twist. when I first took her out to the dance floor, she was a bit hesitant but still danced a little. when I brought her out again to "the twist" she really let loose, I think because she saw everyone else doing it. it was super cute and I know I , at the very least, looked ridiculous because of my huge belly, I felt a bit goofy. but it was fun. and the food was yummy and we are going to do it again sometime soon I hope. it was her first time dancing to a live band in a public place.

Yesterday she woke up crabby and was crabby all day. oh the joys. she slept until 8am today, which is super late. I am hoping she isn't getting sick, AGAIN, because she just got over her cold.
we'll see.

A Couple of links of interest

2006-03-20T09:45:00.000-08:00

mostly to me, but disturbing nonetheless:
http://www.whale.to/w/baby_milk2.html

This is another reason why I am a lactivist.

Secondly, there is this article:
http://www.newsobserver.com/102/story/418676.html

This is another reason that I have chosen not to spank Kiera. I really don't think its necessary and I can find other creative ways to discipline her without hurting her or embarassing her.
Micheal Pearl has some pretty horrific ideas about parenting, beginning with "blanket training" when they are 6 months old by hitting them with a switch when they wander off the blanket. This child died because of suffocation and being beaten with an instrument advocated by the Pearls. yes the Pearls are a bit whacky, and unfortunately many people follow his methods. I personally couldn't fathom raising Kiera in such an adversarial, depressing environment where she would be treated like a dog, or worse than, on the basis of "behavioural science". like when I give Bentley a treat he does what I want, if he doesn't I smack him. well I never did that with Bentley, but the idea is basically the same.

And its not as if I don't have moments. this weekend we were at my BILS wedding. I was of course, doing most of the parenting because Doug was standing up with his brother. the problem is I am 32 weeks pregnant and can move roughly the pace of molasses. I barely saw the wedding. I was chasing her. I was really between a rock and a hard place because if I let her wander I get looks for not controlling my child, but if I try and set a boundary with her about what she can and cannot do, she screams. I really would prefer not having a screaming child during someone's nice speech. it was frustrating. but I know that she is a completely normal almost 2 year old and I am going to make sure my expectations and her behaviours are about the same. as she gets older I will demand more. but I can't at this point. it kind of stinks. anyway, she ran away from me. in the nicely wide open doors to the outside. and she kept running, of course thinking its hilarious to see her hugely pregnant mother trying to catch her. I should have 5 stepped her, but honestly, at that point I was ready to pull my hair out. I grabbed her, and she screamed, which was fine because no one could hear her and it took all I had within me to NOT smack her little bum. I knew if I HAD smacked her, I would have done it in anger and frustration and what would she have learned? absolutely nothing except to be afraid of gettting hit by the one who is suppose to love her. so I didn't. and then I wasn't as mad. and then the reception was almost over and there would be two parents to run around after her. and I really think I would have been totally fine if I wasn't so huge. sigh.

She did look totally adorable, and my camera went pyscho so I don't have a single personal picture of how she looked. but there were lots taken. so I will post one when I get the chance (Uncle Ryan...need pics here!). as I got on the last flight home, I thought to myself I AM GOING NO WHERE FOR 10 weeks! WHA HOO! at least on a plane. I am glad. travelling is stressful. I am glad when I go with Doug, because it helps a lot. but travelling whilst preggers is a completely different story. it sucks.

Bubee

2006-02-22T07:37:00.000-08:00

Is Kiera's name for her dog. just last night I finally figured out that Bubee (a name he is now responding too) actually goes to bed with Kiera in her Elmo bed, waits until she falls asleep and then comes back downstairs. how cute is that?! last night I put her to bed and she actually started calling him, I called him up the stairs and told him Kiera was in bed. he trotted right over there, jumped in bed, and emerged about a half an hour later. he really does have the patience of Job with her, in spite of the ear pulling behaviour she sometimes displays. its pretty cute.

she had quite the conversation with grandma the other day too on the phone. the night before she had mysteriously thrown up all over her Elmo bed, she didnt seem sick otherwise. anyway, when I put her on the phone with grandma, she told her all about it."Elmo's yucko, ewww" and so on. she then went on to tell grandma just exactly what Bubee was doing and the balloon she had gotten at our Saturday night outing. it was pretty funny. of course, I was translating. but its crazy that I actually KNOW what she is talking about and that we are effectively communicating now instead of a guessing game. now if only she would SLEEP IN again. she is killing me with this 645-7am wake up stuff. she apparently was just teasing me after Christmas with 8am wake ups. sigh. I can do even 730 SO MUCH BETTER.

Adventures in Travelling

2006-02-15T08:51:00.000-08:00

Let me just say, that each time I leave the house with Kiera, stroller, car seat and suitcase in tow, and sometimes Bentley, I question my sanity. when Kiera was a baby, it was actually MUCH easier. she just slept, ate, hung out. now, she wants to RUN AROUND the airport and HATES to be "stuck" in her stroller at all. this time my journey was SANS Bentley, and thank goodness.

I left for my sisters almost 2 weeks ago, which I find hard to believe, I feel like I am only just recovering. I left early Thursday morning, well 7am, which for flying isn't actually THAT Early. anyway, Doug had checked the loads for me and told me that going through SLC was probably my best option as there was 3 seats still open and wide open to get there. he also told me the flight left at 840. well I got there in time for 840 and found out the flight was leaving at 825!!!! so I ended up being VERY rushed and had to drag all of my bags with me, which I hadn't counted on. I rushed on the plane to have a flight attendant who totally hated me and was a total beeeoutch to me the whole flight. and what exactly I did to piss her off I am not exactly sure. but she did a really crappy job and if I was a paying customer, I'd be pissed. well, I all ready am and am not a paying customer. :P anyway, got to SLC to find out that the flight to Vancouver was completely full and I was not on. thought quickly and requested a written ticket from Calgary to Vancouver, but only to find out they had JUST CHANGED their rules about that and would no longer be doing it at the gate. so absolutely no more last minute change of planes or last minute needed tickets. thank goodness they weren't doing that in September because Doug and I would have been mega hooped to get to Egypt, but that is another story. anyway, they won't do it so I have to wait another 2 hours to catch a flight to San Fran, which ends up being delayed which means I miss my connecting flight to Vancouver. which means that I have to take the later flight which only leaves me 45 minutes to get to my next flight out of Vancouver to see my sister. and of course, the flight TOO Vancouver is delayed. by now, Kiera had HAD it, she was very grouchy on the flight and I was rapidly losing patience. when we finally get to Vancouver, we had to stand in line and WAIT for 40 minutes at customs, where there is just no way that I can let her out of her stroller. I pretty much ripped into the customs guy asking him, why is it that every time I come to Vancouver I stand around and WAIT like this? and why is it there is NO LINE for people with small children? what if I had come from a flight from Korea or China or something? my child would be flipping out being told to stand and WAIT for yet another 40 minutes?!!!
so of course, by now I had missed my closest connecting flight and I had to wait another 3 hours in the Vancouver airport. what joy. by this time, THANK GOODNESS, she had fallen asleep. the only good thing about the day was that she didn't have to be picked up when I went through security. they let me drive the stroller through and then they did their checking to it on the other side. phew. I am SO GLAD I didn't have to wake her up again. we got to our destination about 17 hours after we left. ewwwwwwww.

We had a good time in Nanaimo, though it was rainy for the first couple of days. Kim has a very cute place that they've done a great job on. they were also gracious enough to lend me their bedroom, where Kiera was able to nap and sleep and we were able to hang out while she did so. a bit easier than if we were crashed in the living room where the TV and kitchen were! Kim has a great park just down the street that Kiera loved to go to and went down the big slide over and over and over again. we also went back the next day so she could do it again. we have some super cute pics somewhere I forgot my camera. duh.
The night before we left we went to their water park which was so much fun! They gave me this "fish" thing that has holes in the middle for Kieras legs and she was up high with life jacket on and had a pretty good time. at first she was freaked out by the waves and wasn't really sure what to think. we went down the waterslide together too. she didn't cry, but she was pretty scared. I think she will like it more in a few months.

The next morning Kim dropped us off at the airport. I was a bit worried, because it was one of those situations where if I left early, I would have to wait for a few hours in the airport for my next flight, but if I caught the next one, it would be a very tight squeeze. because I wanted to go home and the flight to Denver was wide open, I decided to leave. I got to the airport 45 minutes before the flight left. this is Nanaimo that has like people living there. well, they couldn't find my listing even though I KNOW I listed. so I had to leave the line, go to the AC 1800 line and talk to someone again and RELIST myself. why the agents were being asses I am not exactly sure. but they were. I came back and they couldn't find my listing AGAIN and at this point I was frustrated and I said "listen I didn't make this up". I was also annoyed because I am 99% they are QUITE capable of listing me themselves, and they were just being stooopid about it. so then they were like "you needed to be here an hour earlier and you need to be nice. we are trying to help you out here, maybe you need to take the next flight". I was SO MAD because I didn't feel like I was doing anything wrong except get frustrated at the computer system. I was also ticked because my sister had just left and I would have to call her again to bail my sorry butt out and take me to another flight on a float plane airline that I had considered before. anyway, the agent calmed down after her little power trip and put me on the flight. we got to Vancouver and I decided that I might as well check in for my flight leaving in just over 4 hours. I went through, laa dee dah and talked to the Customs agents. who asked me where my green card was and I told them that I had the extension, but didn't have the card. I didn't think I NEEDED it as I was told to SEND IT IN. argh. so they said, after much discussion, they wouldn't let me in. unless of course, I wanted to pay 260 US to get into the country after my travel document was approved. whatever. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. so I left and went and bought a ticket for West Jet to Calgary. I tried calling Doug at this point, but we can't take collect calls and I had no other way of calling him because it seemed to also be rejecting my credit card. I was also INCREDIBLY stressed at this point because I wasn't sure exactly how long I would be stuck up there for. not that I don't like it. but I am 7 months pregnant and my CARE and INSURANCE is here. and I somehow don't think my mom would let me birth at her house, LOL.
got a ticket, called my parents who then asked "what time will I be picking you up?" and found a prepaid phone card to make the dreaded call to Doug. who, of course, wanted to kill me. I left a message at my parents saying I would be there at 230. got to Calgary (wierd flying on an actual FULLY PAID ticket) and of course, there was no one there to greet me. just my luck. I have like NO canadian coins, well money period and am making the calls I can and hanging up before they pick up. my parents said they couldn' t be there until 430. what fun! another 2 hours in the airport with Kiera who is ready to scream! and trust me, her mama was too!
at about 345, I was walking Kiera to the bathroom to change her butt and she was totally flipping out about it. I was short on patience, holding her hand, telling her it was not an option about holding my hand and she had to do it. this nice lady offered to watch all of my crap while I took her. so I took her up on her offer went to the bathroom changed Kiera's bum and came back out. the lady was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO nice. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad I met her because she entertained Kiera for a while and we just sat and chatted. after about a half an hour and me trying to stay kind of vague in my answers about WHY we were here, I finally just told her the whole story. she let me vent. it was VERY nice. she then walked me to my parents car when it was time.
Kiera happily went to my mom when she saw her. but my mom told Kiera that grandpa was just down there and Kiera looked up, saw grandpa and went TEARING down the sidewalk, as fast as her little legs could carry her to see her very favourite "Bubba". now she calls him Bubba. okay then. but it was a happy reunion and I was SO relieved to be with somebody who knew her and we could go and chill out for a couple of days. its also good because we probably won't see them until after this baby is born because of my green card and then scheduling for their busy lives.
we went home, and Kiera was very excited to see her bed and her toys at grandmas house. the next morning she woke up and asked me "where's bubba" was the first thing out of her mouth. she was just so happy to see them. of course, bubba was still sleeping.
we did have a nice visit and I got to meet another friend of mine from my online forum. She had posted her picture and I had recognised her from way back and told her that. we knew each other from around Calgary and I had actually had a crush on her cousin at one point. she has a son a few months older than Kiera too. we met for lunch and she was a great lady who shares the same parenting philosophy as me.
my green card ended up being in my change purse part of my wallet all zippered shut that I never look in because I never have cash. so the story of my life.
Doug was doing an overnight on Friday in Calgary so the next morning we all met for breakfast and he saw me off onto the plane to Denver and he flew the next one out to Chicago. now we are home. and I am very happy to be home.

She has added exponentially to her vocabulary since I listed last time. she has tons of words and recognizes names and faces quite well now. she is still very much in love with Elmo. she is also describing what she does sometimes too, mostly "me go". she loves to put on big shoes by the door and pretend she is going somewhere. its pretty cute. she is also at the age where I feel that I can actually COMMUNICATE with her my wishes and desires about her behaviour and have a reasonable expectation she can do it now. which generally she does, though sometimes not without much drama. I am super happy with something called the 5 steps that puts the onus on HER to control her behaviour, not me. I am going to raise a child with a sense of internal control and not an external use of force to get the desire behaviour. Gentle discipline does not mean permissiveness, though most people equate not spanking your child with that. she will be discipline and it doesn't even mean that somedays I won't be a hard ass about it. I have set boundaries for her that she has run into head on, and so far I am pleased, though I am definitely wondering what I am going to do when she hits the teenage years. but I will cross that bridge in a while.

and you people wonder why I never update, maybe cause this one took me 45 minutes to write!

various cute things

2006-01-31T15:43:00.000-08:00

Okay, so when we drive and she is hungry, she faithfully points out to us every fast food restaurant we pass (please don't throw tomatoes). 99% of the time she is right, though occasionally she gets a gas station in the mix. Last night we went to TGIFridays and when we pulled up she announced "NUMMIES!" and was super excited that we were going.

Today, she brought me her diaper and laid down to be changed. not so unusual. but after I changed it, she stood up, took it, walked to the garbage can and threw it out. it still makes me laugh. she also was playing with the wisk the other day in the kitchen and when I said it was time to go, she put it right back where she found it.

Yesterday she was playing with her "babies" and put them both in their respective "cribs", which were sides to the printer/fax machine styrofoam box which we had just purchased that way. she kept telling them "nigh night". the day before she was wrapping her baby in a blanket and laying it down and telling it "nigh nigh". she has never done that before either. of course we thought it was adorable.

I finally got my stroller and she LOVES it. she climbed in and out and it comes with a warm footmuff that is like a sleeping bag. the night we got it, we actually put her to bed in it because it was warm and toasty and she didn't want to get out..... and I am so in love with that stroller. it pushes like a dream up and down our less than stellar streets. I am going to see my sister this weekend in BC and this will be our first trip with it. I am kind of nervous as I want to keep it in tip top shape. now I just need to save to buy the accessories :)

We should be closing on our house, our other house on Thursday. of course, we've been saying this for TWO WEEKS and the lender keeps asking for more stuff. annoying. but if all goes through, we will be living there, at least for 2 months while construction commences on my kitchen. assuming of course there are actually funds for that. and that remains to be seen. I hope so though. its going to be soooooooooooooo nice and to have a mud room to actually put my stroller in will be great..AND to have another bedroom will also be really nice. but we're WAITING WAITING and MORE waiting.....

My cleaning queen

2006-01-18T21:00:00.000-08:00

I think this is probably the most hysterical thing she has done as of late...and she just keeps doing it.

so at Christmas we notice that she really likes to "clean up" her blocks after she is done playing with them. hmmmm, okay. but as soon as we got home she has started doing some pretty hilarious stuff, at least to Doug and I because we have no idea where she is getting this from. probably memere, bc it sure ain't from either of us.
First story: I went grocery shopping and ran into lunch. got some KFC, she wasn't hungry. had her nap and when she woke up I gave her the box of what was left. she brought it to her tray, dumped it out and walked back to the garbage can and threw it out. !!!! I was totally amazed. When I was teaching Sunday school, I gave all the kids cups of water, after she was done with hers, she walked right over to the garbage can and threw the empty cup out. and said "bye bye"....while we were looking at cupboards at a store, there was a little play station for kids with giant lego. she was playing with it and after she was done, with no prompting from me, she cleaned up all the toys and shut the drawer. yesterday Doug gave her his empty coffee cup which she promptly walked to the garbage and threw out. and finally today, she spilled my water and went into the kitchen and got a tea towel and began to soak it up. she has done that before.

I swear she is mine....:P

Christine!

2005-12-30T12:15:00.000-08:00

Ann! h! I tried to email you twice and the second time it bounced. can you email me please? I don't know where your number is and you haven't been on msn. what is up??
love me

Bub-beee

2005-12-15T19:18:00.000-08:00

Is Bentleys name. she calls him that, but I don't think Bentley has figured it out yet. today, she was sitting in the tub and I decided after she was done, bentley was up. so I called him, and called him again. and she joined in "bub-bee! bubeee!" it was pretty darn cute if I do say so myself. he finally came and much to his chagrin, he got all clean.

Tomorrow is going to be crazy and I am just hoping Kiera doesnt' lose it. I have a hairdressing appointment at 845, its been 10 months since my last cut, then my chiro and then my midwife. and I really do need to do some Christmas shopping, but I can't see it happening. its on the other side of town and I really wanted to buy gifts in the city we are in for the people we see, because seriously, I am not excited about hauling a bunch of extra stuff around. Doug won't be here to help me get the house ready to leave empty for a couple weeks either. sigh. so its all me. but my laundry is all clean now, which is good and my kitchen still looks clean. whew. a couple less things to do.

we are leaving on Saturday to go to Seattle, then to Calgary the 21 or 22 depending on the loads. this is all ready stressing me out and we haven't even left yet. then heading up to Edmonton the 28th and then we'll be home the 1st or 2nd. I am not sure how motivated Doug will be to leave early the 1st! especially because I know he won't be getting any sleep with my crazy brothers.
I will try to update while I am away.

oh yes, I did pick up a twin mattress ELMO set for Kiera for Christmas. we didn't get her anything else, bc again, not excited about packing lots, especially back and forth. now we just need to shuffle our kitchen so we can move our laundry room downstairs so she can have that bedroom. and we can actually have STORAGE! wha hoo!

You're all chicken

2005-12-11T15:43:00.000-08:00

To comment I mean. I guess no one reads it eh???

Okay latest and greatest on dd. well, I got her Christmas pics done, and yes if you are an aunt or an uncle who reads this, you will get a pic. it was a rather hellish experience I deserve some kind of mommy award for. She just DID NOT want to do it, in spite of covering all my bases regarding food and sleep. she was grouchy and it was very hard. but they turned out good, in spite of taking 4 hours to get done.

She is also saying "bless you" to me or daddy every time one of us sneezes.

She loudly announces "DUCKO!" when her ducko part of her baby Einstien video comes on.

She is totally and completely IN LOVE with Elmo. she just figured out he is on her diapers and excitedly points him out. she also "found" him on her bubble bath bottle and shows me. but her favourite is her Elmo phone I got at Big lots for 6 bucks. every day on Sesame street he comes on at around 930 and she loudly says "MOMO! MOMO!" and when I am looking on ebay for stuff for her about Elmo she says "MOMO! MOMO!" its all very exciting stuff. She sings along with his song the very best way she can. yes its totally and completely adorable.

She is also crazy when it comes to fearlessness. just tonight she tried to throw herself from one couch to the other. she missed, with no harm and thought it was pretty hilarious. she tried again and missed. she loves to climb, climb and climb.

The Christmas tree is up and only decorated about half way down. it looks a bit ridiculous, but she won't leave the shiny bulbs alone. sigh. maybe next year. I mght have to take it down before we go anyway.

I am a lactivist

2005-12-02T21:18:00.000-08:00

And becoming more so the more information I have learned. A couple of months ago, there was a nurse in locally because a woman was given a ticket for breastfeeding her daughter at a local campground. something about indecency. If Kiera had not weaned by then I would have been there for sure.
I realise also, that this is a personal issue for women. I realise that it is a sensitive issue as well. But my issue is in a large part to do with the formula companies, that IMO, decieve women into believing that what comes out of a bottle even remotely resembles breastmilk. Because it doesn't. it doesn't even come close, in fact they know its missing over 100 components that breastmilk has.

Here are a few facts, just off the top of my head about bfing:
If a baby is born a preemie, and the mother pumps her milk, the body will make a specially formulated milk for that age. it literally changes as the baby changes. As well, if the mother can't make milk or whatever, even donated milk has been shown to make a substantial improvement in the baby's health. substantial.
A baby will suffer from fewer ear infections, diarrhea, colds, flu, basically anything that you can think of will happen less often if the child is breastfeed, even for a short time. A child is never allergic to its own mother's milk, unless the mother is eating something that the child cannot eat.
In fact, today I was at the mall getting K's pictures done. While we were in the play area a woman sat next to me and commented on her 8 month old girl and how much more difficult she was than her older brother in the sickness department. Apparently she had chronic ear infections, and guess what she pulled out? that's right, a bottle. I mentioned that perhaps she should avoid milk, and that my friend whose son had chronic ear infections, stopped as soon as he was taken off of gluten. She didn't seem to excited about that. she said she was giving her a special formula now with no diary or soy. I can just imagine how much that cost. She also said she was getting something from the doctor to stop her allergies to what she might be eating. that is brilliant, supress her immune system instead of just making basic dietary changes so its not even in her system. *rolling eyes*. I am assuming of course, that this woman had the full capacity to breastfeed and yet she did not.

Its the did not for their own "convience" that really really really annoy me. And yes, its true, I am being judgemental. I am being judgemental because guess what? Its costing ME MONEY. yes siree bob, if you want to talk capitalism here and go strictly by monetary terms, when a woman choses not to bf for anything other than physical reasons, it is money out of my pocket. why? well lets see, if that child gets ear infections all the time, guess who sees the doctor? and guess whose overall insurance goes up?

In fact, I found this crunchy little article that broke it down for me:
If you bf your child, medical costs for that child is going to be $200 less than if you didn't. A company down here figured that out, that means that just by bfing, the company would be saved 140000 a uear. Every year it costs the system 291 million dollars bc of infant diarhhea in non bf infants. RSV costs 225 mil and diabetes that is insulin dependent costs 9.6- 124.4 mil in annual healthcare costs. ( and yes, the risk is reduced if you were bfed)
WIC shells out 2.6 mil + a year for infant formula.

The estimated saving for Medicaid was $112 per infant in the first six months of life, assuming baby was bfed for a minimum of 3.

That is the money end of it. Here are some more benefits:
Decreases anemia, decreases SIDS, decreases common illness (like colds, etc), decreases allergies, not a single documented case of being allergic to mama's milk, reduces diarrhea, reduces chance of getting appendicitis (had to be bfed for a longer period of time), less likely to be hospitalised if ill, less chance of RSV, less chance of urinary track infections, lessens chance of MS.

For the mama: protects against osteoprosis, helps with wieght loss after birth, as well as contracting uterus back to normal size, WAYYYYYYY cheaper, protects against breast cancer, diabetes, infertility and ovarian cancer, and provides a natural "high" when feeding baby (natures way of making sure baby gets fed).

I am also ranting bc I have a friend, I guess I will call her that now, who chose not to breastfeed. Not because she wasn't capable, not bc she didn't produce enough milk, not because she agonized over her choice, not it just wasn't conveinant for her. To me it was weird, bc I knew she had busted her can to try and bf her first child who had a very bad latch and causd her excruitiating pain and after 3 weeks she gave up. that I could understand. she even had lacation consultants help her and it became apparent that her daughters latch was not going to work. She went to all the trouble of having a VBAC after her first baby, which is also no small fry. but then, after the baby latched ONCE and it was not a perfect latch, she said "forget it". it REALLY REALLY bothers me because SHE STAYS AT HOME WITH HER KIDS. That is half the battle. Women who are working, especially in the US, are grossly unsupported in most companies, in their breastfeeding attempts. but this women dose not HAVE that problem. the problem that she described, even I knew how to fix. When she told me this story I am SURE she saw the look on my face of sheer disappointment that she would chose to feed her baby something SO utterly inferior than what her own body makes. In fact WHO's list looks like this:
1) mik from mama 2) milk from mama from a bottle 3) donated milk 4) formula. formula is 4th on the list! 4th!!!! who would want to, unless the HAD to, feed thier child, the 4th best thing? I think the language surrounding this topic needs to change. When you chose to formula feed, you are CHOOSING a few INFERIOR option. its not "second best", its not even in the BALLPARK.

Did I also mention that bf babies are SMARTER? and that most professionals KNOW this? and its an easily provable point?

Of course, the irony here is that I was not bfed. I was 6 weeks in hiatus between mummies. and though my new mummy tried, it just didn't work. that was very hard for my new mummy. my first mummy was also very sad that it just didnt work out that she could have bfed me. but she did bf her others for a very long time. I blame the fact that I was not bfed on the fact that I could NEVER do math. EVER. I guess I just didnt get the necessary stuff to make that part of my brain develop.

So, if you ever see my bfing my new baby, I make no apologies. I will do my best to not flash you, but I really don't give a rats' ass if I make you uncomfortable, if you don't like it, don't look. I am going to bf this child, barring no unforeseen circumstance like an excruitating latch or something, until they decide to quit. its suppose to be to a year anyway, and guess what? only 14% of women EVER make it past the 6 month mark. how pathetic. WHO recommends to 2 years anyway. so I will bf away until they have had thier run of mummy's milk.

To all the other lactivists out there, a toast from a new found member.